a girl, a guy, a tomato, a bean, and a bear

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Conversation

Girl: Wow! She's so cute!

Me: Thanks! [smiles]

Girl: How old is she?

Me: [thinking] ...a bit over 8.5 months now. She'll be 9 months on the 15th.

Girl: ....Wow. She's small.

Me: [stares...forced smile] Oh yeah?

Girl: Yeah! My friend has a baby and he was, like, bigger than her when he was FIVE months old.

Me: [Well, he's a MONSTER baby, isn't he, then? FATTY FAT FATTY] She's actually about average weight for her age. [still smiling]

Girl: Oh yeah? Weird. Yeah, cause she just looks SMALL.

Me: [Oh no! You've caught me! I actually am trying to stunt her growth because I'm hoping to put her in overalls, a red hat and glue a beard on her and stand her in the garden to save money on buying a garden gnome. Darn! I thought no one would notice!] I guess every kid is different. Well, it's nice to see you again! Have a good weekend! [SMILES!!!!]


In other news...I forgot to mention one of Evie's new tricks. We've both adjusted to her new car seat and like it just fine...most of the time. Evie had stopped screaming in agony when I put her in, but now she has a new game. As soon as I set her down, before I can grab the straps and bring her arms through, she arches her back and starts writhing like a little inch worm down trying to scoot out of the end of the chair. She's surprisingly quick at this, so usually what happens is this: I set her down. She writhes and wiggles toward the end. I scoot her back up to the proper position. She writhes down again, super inch worm that she is. I scoot her up once again and get one arm through, thus distracting her from the wiggle and am able to buckle the base in before she gets her bearings and attempts another escape.

I have to say, I have this funny mental image of me trying to close the zipper on a REALLY overstuffed suitcase--one of those with two zippers on either end, you know? The minute you make progess with one zipper, the other one slides back because all of the stuff has begun oozing out of that side instead. So what do you do? You dig your knee in hard or SIT on it to keep all the stuff jammed in really good so you can close the thing. Only...I think that sort of thing is frowned upon with babies...


Write Softly said...

I have a girlfriend who calls this "trick" ... "turning herself inside out." And then she described her actions to get the kid buckled up as "refolding my kid into a car-seat-compatible shape, like origami."

Hee hee. Funny how they keep ONE STEP AHEAD, isn't it?

screamy mimi said...


It is true. One step ahead, clever little babies.

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