Without Power; With Friends.

About Wednesday of last week the town was a buzz with talk of a coming ice storm.

"It's supposed to be worse than the Christmas Eve storm!" someone said.

"Did you hear that they've cancelled school tomorrow in anticipation?" another countered.

"But it's nearly seventy degrees out!" a third chimed in.

Indeed, it all seemed a little rash, but when you're in Oklahoma, this kind of cold weather storm is sort of a big deal. They don't happen every day, and when they do, the town is left scrambling to salt the roads, plow the streets, and make all the preparations that are second nature in northern cities that experience this sort of thing multiple times every winter.

Thursday arrived and it didn't look quite so bad. Still, Justin was sent home around 11 am from class. Things began to pick up that afternoon; first wind and rain, and then the ice began to form. The wind blew so hard as to make the icicles form at an angle!

We had a couple of flickers in our power, but didn't think much of it...until at 4:45 when the lights went out and didn't come back on.

After a few minutes we looked up the number for the power company and called to report the outage and get an estimate on how long we could expect to wait before the power would be restored.

"I can't give you an accurate estimate at this time. Power should be restored by 11 am on Monday, but it could be sooner."

Monday was a bad answer. Without a working fireplace, four days was way too long to be in an unheated home with an 18 month old. Thankfully, K&J still had power and welcomed us into their home because every hotel we called in Lawton was already full to the brim.

Our stay included Wii golf, bowling, and The Price is Right, Syfy's Alice, a very competitive game of Scrabble, delicious cookies (and other food), hot coffee, a comfortable air mattress, and of course, a visit with good friends. When Justin and Kellen went to check on the status of our power Friday morning they discovered that it had been restored. We stayed another night with K&J anyway. It was that much fun.

After more than four years of growing friendship, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when we go our separate ways in a few months. Trying to soak up every minute...

Almost guaranteed to be the prettiest thing you hear today.

This is the a singing of "A Christmas Blessing" written by Phillip Stopford in Belfast Cathedral, Northern Ireland, conducted by the composer, October 2008. Our choir at Centenary is singing this and it just makes me swoon.

Enjoy!

Deck the Halls

I have about six craft projects in the works at any given time. It's so easy to keep gathering materials for them, and you can come across so many neat ideas for things; it's much more difficult finding the time to actually do them.

Lately I've been looking around and taking inventory of all the unfinished projects...my granny square blanket (I've lost most of my motivation on that one as it came through the move a little musty), another crocheted afghan I'd nearly finished only to have to unravel and rework due to shoddy joining technique, a Christmas quilt, stockings (indefinitely on hold), oh, and there are so many more. I decided it was a good time to stop collecting and start working with what I have. First up was this ornament wreath I've been wanting to make ever since I came across this photo on flickr by pixiegenne. I still like hers more, but I think I made a fair approximation, especially for a first attempt.

Isn't she lovely?

We went home for Thanksgiving and had our first big family gathering in many years. Now that we've been stateside for a few months, I've stopped thinking of everything we do in terms of stateside vs abroad, but events like this stand out in such contrast because we weren't able to take part in the family gatherings for so long.

It struck me how special it was to be in the home where I grew up. Justin and I held Evelyn's hand as she walked around the cul-de-sac where I used to play with my brother and sister. The times we had back then...riding our bikes incessantly around that little concrete circle, imagining ourselves to be cops and robbers, wild animals, you name it. We used the curb as a balance beam to see if we could walk the perimeter of the street without touching the grass or road. So many happy childhood memories flooded back for me, and how special it was to be there again with my husband and daughter (and dog) and the rest of my family.

Even the air at night had that magical "Christmas smell," as I like to call it. Parking in that driveway, letting the dog out at night in that back yard, those trees, that back patio with its particular cracks and crooked benches my parents made so long ago--I soaked it all in and appreciated it in a way I don't think I ever have before.

My mother still has a good deal of my grandmother's things from after her death in 2006, and we took time to go through some of them together. There were pictures, photos, letters, figurines, a curious lockbox no one could open (I'm still dying to know what's in there...part of me hopes we can never get it open...) and it was cathartic for me to see my grandmother's things again. I came back from Germany in May of 2006, when her death seemed imminent, to have a final visit, but was unable to be there for her funeral that June. I was able to say my goodbyes, but I never have felt complete closure. I suppose it is just that way with loved ones who leave us.

Mixed in with these things we came across a set of class pictures of my mother from her school days. I asked her if I could scan them and share them and she said I could. Isn't she completely lovely? I must say my favorite pictures are the first (she tells of having just given herself a haircut secretly in the closet days before), and the last, when she looks so grown up and transformed at age 15. You really must click on the picture and then view it in it's original size on flickr by clicking the "all sizes" button.

Now I need to find my old class pictures as well. I swear I never looked as put together as she did!

mostly pictures...wait nevermind, I ramble too.

I've got my (magical) desk assembled and was able to get my shiny new iMac put up. It. Is. Amazing. Things are slowly starting to find their way into drawers, shelves, and cabinets, clearing the floor for purposes like, you know, walking. It feels so good to have things begin to settle. There's still a long way to go, and I had the thought the other day about how I'm likely to get the last few things into place the week before the movers come again in the spring. Still, it makes for an exciting life.

If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I struggled a bit (sometimes a little more than a bit) with living in Germany. It's something that is difficult for me to admit, because in my mind there is this notion that it should have been an entirely magical experience, one that we would look back on longingly and cherish for all our days, eternally pining for schnitzel and driving our children crazy with stories of black forest cake and the Rhine. It just wasn't the case for me. It was a good experience--I don't regret living there, but it was limiting in many ways and isolating. I made a few treasured friends in Baumholder, ones I hope to keep always, but on the whole it was a very lonely time. I've always considered myself an introverted person, but in my own way I've always made connections with people of shared interests. Growing up I was involved in choir, in junior high there was band, high school had choir and theater, and LTC dominated my college years. Connections like those were practically non-existent in Germany.

When I found myself unhappy, I felt the fault must lie with me. If I couldn't manage to find excitement and happiness in magical Germany, it must me my problem, my failure. As we prepared for our move back to America and I looked forward to coming home after four long years abroad, I began to worry that my restless dissatisfaction with some aspects of my life there would follow me home.

I am so relieved to find that this has not been the case. Being back home has been everything I longed for. Closer to family, closer to friends, able to communicate, sure of what to expect and able to seek out options and opportunities--we've found Lawton (often not considered a glamour spot in the Army) to be fantastic. That deserves extra emphasis: fantastic. The sun shines, the sky is so huge and blue--it seems to stretch eternally. We're in our own (rented) little home instead of a cramped apartment. We've found a church and I've joined the choir there and already met some wonderful new people. I'm excited about opportunities to take classes again.

I really didn't anticipate sitting down to write a post today. I had these pictures we'd taken the other day of Justin and Evie and looking at the ones of them playing outside just filled me with such joy. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: It is good to be home.

Let me e'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

I haven't had a chance to sit down at a computer for more than 10 minutes now for nearly a month, so please forgive me for the long absence! There is too much that has happened to capture, but I will try to give you a highlight reel:

The flight back home had some memorable moments--including 1) the moment when we thought we'd forgotten the bolts to secure Chokydar's kennel for the flight after having to split it in half to fit in the rental car; they were in Justin's pocket after all. WHEW. 2)A Chuck Norris look alike who played peek a boo with Evie on the flight for at least 10 minutes 3)the realization that Evie's "sleepy noises," a guttural grunt "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungh" which we know and love is, in fact, annoying to some fellow passengers 4)getting 9 hours in to the flight and resorting to choreographing "Surrey With the Fringe on the Top" from Oklahoma for Evelyn's entertainment.

All in all, it was as good of a trip as we could have expected. Upon landing, we creeped everyone out by how happy we were by completely mundane things. "Oh look! ENGLISH!...traffic signs...etc, etc."

We flew into Dallas, rented a car and drove to Houston the next day to visit family. We went to church at St. Paul's on Sunday and bought our new car, a 2009 Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. I'd done TONS of research and we had such a pleasant car buying experience, it kind of unnerved me. Ours is silver with black cloth and the panoramic sunroof. I couldn't be happier with it so far!

We did lots of visiting and a good deal of window shopping in Houston. We made it to the zoo and the terracotta figure exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science. And we ate a LOT of good food...Starbucks, Panera, Le Peep, Ruggles, Coldstone, Chick-fil-a, Saltgrass Steakhouse, BJ's Brewery, Outback, Blue Bell ice cream, and Brown Sugar's BBQ just to name a few. Now we are fat and making our recovery.

We got to visit with some good friends, including the beautiful Jennifer Gilbert, and The Boy and family. SOOO good to spend time together!!

We drove up to Oklahoma on Wednesday--the 8+ hour drive was maybe even more exhausting than our transatlantic flight. We left around 6:30 am from Houston and didn't arrive in Lawton until nearly 4 pm.

We're in guest housing now (aka a rather crummy hotel), but it does have a (barely) passable kitchenette, so at least we've been able to start weaning ourselves from fast food. We're hunting for a home to rent now, and have a likely prospect that we hope to secure in the coming days.

I can't get over how excited I am to be back in America, how overjoyed I am by little pleasures, seeing family and friends, and by having a drive-thru Starbucks that's new in Lawton since the last time we were here.

Life is so good.

A short list.

These have been my favorite words here:

1. Schneeman ("snowman")
2. Bodenschwellen ("speed bumps")
3. Glan Münchweiler (proper noun, a town nearby)
4. Niedermohr (proper noun, another nearby town, meaning "low moor") --I like saying this one followed by an evil cackle: NEE-DER-MORE!!! MUAH AH AH AH!!!

and probably my most used phrase:

5. Ich spreche nur ein bisschen Deutsch. (I speak only a little German.)

Walking through the windmills

Speaking purely of the weather, today was perhaps the most beautiful day I've experienced here in Baumholder over the past (nearly) four years. It was not only sunny, but cloudless and the colors seemed brighter, more vibrant. Ever since stumbling across a user map on Google for a path through the windmills outside town I've been itching to go walk up there. It's easy to have reasons "not to go" in Baumholder--usually involving the weather, so when today was just about completely perfect, we hopped in the car and drove up to the path.

It's maybe slightly possible I'm feeling slightly sentimental about our leaving here. Don't get me wrong--I can't wait--but for all of the valleys we experienced here, it also has been a good time, and I don't regret the choice we made when we decided to come to Germany.

With some free time on our hands and not a lot of things around the house to distract, I've been working out a lot more lately. Today on our walk I had too much energy to just keep walking, so I traded Justin the stroller for the leash and took off with Choky down the path. Evie started to get concerned that I was running away, so I doubled back, which she thought was hilarious. After a time or two of this game--run away for 50 meters or so, sprint back--I could have stopped, but then Justin began spurring me on, so for about 20 minutes of the return "walk" I ran up and down hill with Chokydar.

Choky was having the time of her life, although it was clear from the run that she's a touch out of shape. She ventured into the weeds at one point and came out covered in burrs, which stuck to her fur like glue. Evie watched in awe as Justin picked them out, one by one before we got back in the car to come home.

It was a good day.

Inspiration strikes

I found this amazing living room, styled by Sasa Antic, via Oh Joy! and it brought my entire (current) design aestheic into focus. I've been loving the simplicity of Scandanavian design--white washed with bright bursts of color, but we also have a good deal of black furniture that I love and I've been struggling with how to incorporate that well in our new place.

I've also been head over heels for midcentury design lately, especially the Cherner Arm Chair:

I looooooooooooove this chair. Elementary school children could sing songs about me and this chair sitting in a tree, and I'd just be cool with it. It comes in many finishes, but my favorite is the classic walnut. I really love how in the Sasa Antic living room she incorporates white, black, and wood finish so easily. You would think, "Ah, just mix and match!" but somehow it's not that easy! Designers somehow put it all together and it looks eccletic and chic. If it's done incorrectly it just looks like you couldn't make up your mind.

I think I've settled (for now) on a table and chairs. What do you think? I'm planning to get 1 Cherner chair and 5 Jake chairs. Or maybe 4 Jake chairs and hold off to find another arm chair to accompany the Cherner.

I have no idea whether or not we'll have carpet in our next home(s), but I can't help admiring these regardless:

Oh, and art of course. Here are some of my latest favorites:

Trash Trash Treasure

I'm cleaning house.

Not just in the normal way (I'm not very good at that anyway)--light dusting, wiping windows, that sort of thing...No, I'm cleaning. I'm getting rid of things that should have long gone (why do I still have makeup from highschool??) and things that were wishful thinking (a pair of skinny pants that will NEVER fit.

It's a process that's full of reflection. Stuff can say a lot about you--why you keep certain things, why it's hard to let other things go. I've found it's cathartic too. It's very freeing to clean out clutter that's been weighing on you, conciously or otherwise.

There are some things that I won't let go. Move after move, we'll keep carting them along, not because they're functional, or beautiful, or monetarily valuable, but because they're strings connecting my heart to the past. I just came across a box full of cards from our wedding. I'm usually not a pack rat in this way, but for some reason (maybe because that was a hectic busy time right before a move too) I kept ALL of the cards that were given to us for our wedding. Some are just signed with a name, others have a line or two of well-wishes, and still others make my eyes water to this day because of the heartfelt message sent by our loved ones.

It's easy sometimes to get caught up in the day-to-day; in minor (or major) stresses, frustrations, and anxieties. It's been an isolating time these past 3.5 years in Germany. I can't say we've made tons of close friends--but we have made some that will last a lifetime. I'm not sure how I've grown or changed, but I know that I have.

Thank you, to all of the special people in my life who've taken time to make me feel special. I'm thinking about you today and hope somehow you can tell.

New and (hopefully!) Improved!

Things are happenin' around here and I've had this rehaul in the works for quite some time. It's been slow going on the blog lately, but I hope to begin posting more regularly once again. I am a re-arranger at heart, and I suppose revamping my blog is just another way of moving the furniture around.

To any of you guys who'd followed on the google follower link--I can't seem to get it reinstalled properly. If you'd still like to be a follower (that sounds weird to me...) please sign up using the networked blogs link instead! I think it's available for others outside of facebook too...

I have other updates and items I hope to include in the coming days, but for now, I'm just happy to have the new look operational. I hope you like it as much as I do!

Right up my alley

I may be way behind on discovering this, but I've just found this cool website, polyvore.com for creating collages from images and text around the web. It seems it is used primarily for fashion and interior design collages, but I can many other creative applications. It has a great user interface and a bookmark you can add to your link bar so that any image found on the web can be easily clipped while on that site for use in a collage. For years now I've kept clippings from magazines and websites, but have always struggled for the best way to organize them. I've printed them out and put the in page protected binders, I've created inspiration bulletin boards, I've archived them through my amazon.com wishlist and my tumblr or here on my blog.

The thing I like so much about polyvore is that you're able to quickly resize, rearrange, bring to the forefront or send to the back any image in the set. You can of course do this sort of thing in photoshop, but it takes more time as that's not photoshop's sole function, as in polyvore. Bighugelabs.com has a neat collage feature, but they automatically crop and scale images, and sometimes the result leaves something to be desired.

I'm already excited by the possibilities for this tool as a way of visualizing a set of items. Back in March, there was a sale at DWR that nearly made me lose my mind in a frenzy of I need a dining table RIGHT NOW. I know I am susceptible to the urgency of a limited time "good deal" and so I was able to regain my sanity before I acted rashly. I like to comparsion shop, and sometimes it's hard to get a good idea about your options unless you can see them side by side. For example, with the tables, viewing them next to one another makes it easy to find strengths and weaknesses--i.e. I like the legs on this one, but prefer this other color, etc. With polyvore I can add images of chairs too to mix and match potentials there as well.

As we get ready for our big move, part of the preparation has been in selling some of our old things to clean house and pare down our possesions. I don't want to drag around a bunch of stuff I don't love, even if I'm not the one physically doing the dragging. Doing this, I've realized how much my tastes have changed over the past 4 years. As a 22 year old, I had no idea what kind of things I would really use when setting up a wedding registry, and thus many things I thought we really needed, we haven't used at all. For instance, we registered for a beautiful pattern of fine china and have used it maybe on two occasions. It's a lovely pattern, but I'm not convinced it was the best choice for our needs. I assembled our living room here piece by piece with no real plan, and it shows. Now, I like an ecclectic style in design, but there are certain pieces and colors that mix and match better than others. The more I look at images, the more I learn, and I think I've finally internalized the fact that decorating is a process, not something I should expect to do all at once. Of course, Justin lovingly shakes his head at all of this--from the satisfaction I get from comparing tables to my fickle nature and the difficulty I sometimes have making decisions.

Anyway, all that is to say, I think that polyvore will be a useful tool to help me visualize and catalogue ideas. Feel free to weigh in on the things that I post, to help me see flaws in my logic or point out things you like too!

Here's my first quick mock up. So...we already have a bed. It's a sleigh bed we bought in Oklahoma for cheap after we were married and it's perfectly functional. It's totally fine. And I want a different one. I've told myself that after I work on getting things we really need (like a dining table), in a few years I can replace our bed with a new one. Lately I've been really into canopy beds, and these are a few I've really been taken by. Unfortunately, my favorite one (bottom center by Niermann Weeks) is sold only to "the trade," meaning designers, and the selling price to me would be in the range of $8,000. Yeah.....How do I always gravitate to the most expensive possible choice?

Everything is tastier

I just had to share my breakfast with you.

For months and months while Justin was gone, I didn't have much of an appetite, or even when I did, I didn't have the energy or time to make wholesome delicious meals. I often found myself eating protein bars, frozen dinners, cereal, mac and cheese, or something equally bland and uninspiring. Not only was it difficult to find time to make "elaborate" meals for myself, it just seemed like more trouble than it was worth to prepare something for only one.

Since he's come home, however, we're taking time to cook together and are eating healthier (and much more delicious!) things. I'm finding new recipes and trying new combinations. Life is literally more flavorful with him here.

Granny Progress

The granny afghan continues to grow. I have 10 rows x 11 rows now, making for 110 little squares. I think when I finish this project it would be wise to do another pattern (maybe a ripple!), but this one is so addicting--it's just like popping popcorn. One more. Just one more. Okay, one more. They make up so quickly and it's so fun deciding which color to add on next. I think I have one instance where there are two squares using the exact same color combination, but I think all the others are unique variations.

I haven't yet decided how big I'm going to make this one. I love blankets and I always seem to make them HUGE. Shouldn't blankets be big enough so that they can cover two cuddling?

Our girl

Yesterday marks a week that Justin's been home. I know you will forgive me for being "away" online--we had too much to enjoy here to do much more than the occasional e-mail check and to post a few pictures. On Wednesday we went down to welcome home another group of soldiers--this time specifically to be with Julia as she waited to welcome home her husband Kellen. I took pictures for Julia and so Justin held Evelyn throughout the ceremony while I handled the camera. It was so sweet to see them together. I just can't get over it.

Justin and I had discussed and wondered about how the reintegration of our family might go...we figured there would be some difficultly reintroducing him to Evelyn and prepared ourselves as best as we could for the reality that she would not know her father. Still, the first afternoon he was here, I must tell you, it hit me hard when she burst into tears at his touch when he reached out to steady her as she stood. It broke both of our hearts and the unfairness of the whole situation--that hundreds of military families have gone through and are going through the same thing washed over me like a crashing wave. That was a hard moment to swallow, despite the fact that we knew it would be the case and had attempted to prepare ourselves mentally for it. We took a deep breath, held each other's hands, comforted Evelyn, and kept playing.

Now here's the really surprising and amazing part--after that first afternoon, she has not cried AT him, or because of him ONCE. She has adjusted to him better than I could have imagined. She looks for him after waking for a nap, she crawls to him, and she's even babbling "dada"--sort of at him...It fills me with such joy, I can hardly convey it to you. There are still many things she prefers me for of course, and Justin hasn't felt confident enough yet to tackle bath time, but I am amazed by how normal it all feels so soon after having him home.

Well, I say that, but really it's always been that way. He comes home, and it's as if he was never away. I love him so, and from the look in Evelyn's eyes when she gazes at him, it's clear she feels the same way.

A little of this

Things we're doing:

• Going to the (crappy) commissary TOGETHER.
• Making REAL meals again--eggs for breakfast! ham, pepperjack, and mushroom crepes for dinner! grilled veggies! (I've more or less been "living" on frozen meals, cereal, canned soup and mac and cheese)
• Working out while Evelyn is AWAKE because someone else is here to play with her!
• Playing with our daughter TOGETHER.
• Talking IN PERSON.
• Sitting quietly TOGETHER.
• Holding hands.
• Planning what's next TOGETHER.
  

Things are so good.

He's back!

Justin is HOME! The welcome home ceremony was around midday and Julia went with me (and Evelyn of course) to greet him.

Evelyn handled the noise and excitement of the ceremony well, but she was a little unsure of what to make of Justin. Her reception of him could have been much worse, however, and they're already beginning to acclimate to one another.

Choky literally peed herself upon seeing Justin again. I think she may have thought he was a ghost, or maybe just that she'd done something so bad that I'd called him back from wherever he'd been to discipline her.

More to come later...