Ok, you caught me. My header already says January 2009. I put it up yesterday on the 30th. I'm cheating. I'm so ready for 2009 though, it's ridiculous.
Somehow in my head it's not just the start of another year, it's a real turning point. In 2009 I will once again LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND. We will be within the actual calendar year of that impossible, unfathomable, wonderful reality. Also, barring crazy unforseeable circumstances, we should (FINALLY) be returning to America. After four years of living in Germany we'll be moving back home. I don't regret coming here at all, but for me, Europe is for visiting, not for living. I miss home. 2008's been just fine, as great as it could be without Justin here for 3/4 of it, actually, but I'm ready to say goodbye.
This year I turned 25, gave birth to our first child, deepened friendships, started drawing more (still working on that one), tried to grow, and waited. Oh, the waiting. I really shouldn't go down that road because it's a whole post unto itself, but the deployment has shaped so much of this year. You try not to dwell on it because it will consume your every waking moment if you let it, and so you go about the difficult balancing act of trying to move forward while remaining the same, holding onto the pain of being separated because letting go of the pain would be far, far worse.
But like I said, that's for another post. As this afternoon turns to this evening, we don't have any real New Year's plans. I imagine Evie and I will continue listening to Harry Potter on audio book, eat some rice cereal (Evie, not me) and roll around on the floor (probably both of us). And as I've never been much of a party animal, this suits me just fine.
Bring on 2009. Every day brings us closer.
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2 comments:
Michele, I reflect often on your solo-ness there in Germany. Every time husband travels (which is more often these days), it gives me one more chance to sample the life that is yours -- always being on for the baby, always being the one who provides every moment and instant of care and response to this amazing little person who is so dependent on you. I am filled with admiration for the strength and sacrifice that you and Justin have made for one another, for your family, for your country, for liberty and what is right and decent and good. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to be without husband for months on end.
You have my respect and awe and admiration. Know that I am amazed by so much about you.
What she said, plus you're hot! :)
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