a girl, a guy, a tomato, a bean, and a bear

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Patience is a virtue. One that I don't have.

That's maybe slightly harsh. I can be patient. I can wait for cookies to bake before eating them...oh wait...maybe that's not the best example...

Okay, I can wait for, you know, things to come in the mail and for the clothes to finish in the dryer. Not so impressive?

I do have a problem with things operating outside my control. This, of course is a real problem because many, many things in truth are beyond my control. I like things to happen on my timetable, unfolding exactly how and when I imagined. Most of the time I am a logical person. I like to make plans and my plans are usually well-laid. Sometimes, however, I get caught up in how I'd like things to be rather than how they are. Re: The Matterhorn. We're starting to think more about our next PCS--we'll be moving to Ft Carson, Colorado in about two months. It is not an unusual custom to scout out a place to live before PCSing so that the transition between homes is as smooth as possible, and it was my intention to do just that. Now, because Justin is still in class and we have Chokydar to care for, the plan began taking form that Evie and I would fly up to Colorado together to go house hunting.

This plan had been in the works for several weeks when I met with Julia yesterday afternoon and was explaining to her my plans for the re-con trip. That's when it happened. I said the plans out loud. I don't know how many times I've told myself that I need to institute this safety measure when making plans--something can sound perfectly reasonable, brilliant even, in my head, but when vocalized I realize it is utter lunacy.

I began, "So Evie and I will drive up to Oklahoma City during the work week so Justin will still be at home in the evenings to care for Chokydar. I'll park the car at the airport in OKC, put the car seat on the stroller device and strap Evie back in, swing on a backpack for the trip and we'll be off. We'll get to Denver and rent a car to drive down to a hotel in the Springs. I'll have appointments to view several houses lined up in advance. We'll pick the best option, fill out our paperwork and be on our way after a few days, back to Denver, OKC and home to Lawton."

Suddenly I felt exhausted just having explained the thing. Julia looked at me like I had three eyes. "A backpack?" she began, "How big is this backpack, Michele? You're going to fit everything you need for you and Evie for 3-4 days in a backpack?"

I will miss so much having Julia around to gently tell me when I'm being insane, but that's another story. She really didn't have to say much else; just telling her my plan out loud made me realize it was not my best idea of all time. Somewhere in my eagerness for this move to go smoothly, I lost track of reason. Surely the two weeks or so in a hotel we will spend looking for housing upon our arrival in May is worth the expense, headache, and exhaustion of a multiple day car rental, plane tickets, hotel fees, and running around a new city without Justin's help, with Evie in tow.

So I take a deep breath, and wait. I will be patient, even if it does not come naturally. We will find a lovely place to live. We will have enough time to settle in before Justin deploys. You would think I would have figured it out by now, that God takes care of us, and His plans for us are better than any I can devise.


Kyla said...

Good luck with the waiting. I struggle with that, too.

How often will you guys be moving, do you know?

screamy mimi said...

We should be packing up about every three years. Could be a little less/more each time depending on Justin's position at the time.

The waiting is hard for me both short term and long term...I would love to be able to buy a home and put down some roots, having that been the way I grew up, but it just doesn't make sense to us to buy when we'll only be there three years. Patience. Patience.

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