The Tomato Bear

MOVING!

2010-08-13T17:13:00.002-05:00

Dear friends,

As much as things are changing around here, I've been feeling for a while that my tomatobear blog is getting a bit stale. Rather than keep revamping themes and html, I've decided to MOVE my blog entirely to a new location, hosted by tumblr.com. I'm hoping this will be a great move and help me to keep things fresh and share what's happening in our lives better. Please, reset bookmarks and update mental records to show the correct new location:

http://www.screamymimi.com

Learn it. Love it. And let me know what you think!

P.S. For the time being, this blog will remain as an archive of things past. I am as of yet undecided as to whether I will import past posts over to my new blog or just let them remain here.

Love,

Michele

Meh. Here are some pictures.

2010-08-04T18:04:00.003-05:00

Ouch. I woke up yesterday morning to workout (like a good little girl) and have been paying for it ever since. No wonder I stopped working out. It hurts!! And not like a normal, mmmm that's a good burn hurt, like, I would rather have Chokydar gnaw off my leg than go up these stairs one more time kind of hurt. I actually ache lying still. Like breathing makes me feel the soreness. I think working out again will help (?!?!) but I'm not sure how to manage that given my level of ouch.

As it would follow then, today has been less than stellar. I'm really tired (and did I mention achey?) and my motivation is pretty low. A couple of days ago, however, I did manage to get the kitchen put away and took some pictures of the kitchen, living room, and breakfast nook. I'd eventually like to get a couple of arm chairs to face the fireplace (which reminds me--Evie now calls fire trucks "fireplace cars") and hang some prints/art/photos/something on the wall.

Three steps forward, two steps back.

2010-07-31T14:02:00.004-05:00

ust a few days before Justin left I picked up a new stash of super colorful alpaca and bamboo yarn. It was definitely a splurge but I knew that it would be something fun and new to work on and occupy my mind in these first few days/weeks.
Now, it's not as if I don't already have about 5 unfinished projects going on already--and I am making slow progress on them--but I hit a roadblock on this one project in particular that really frustrated me, so I shifted gears from knitting on that one to starting a crochet baby blanket in my new yarn.
I love crochet for many reasons, one of which being how quickly it works up. I only sat down with this blanket maybe three or four nights for a couple of hours to get this far, and I guess I got so wrapped up in enjoying the mindlessness of it that it's taken me this long to realize I made the blanket way too wide for a baby blanket. I tend to do that...my blankets are always gargantuan. I was tempted to just keep going on this one and have it be a regular throw, but with the yarn being so pricey and my original intent for it to be for the baby's room, I'm going to go ahead and take it all back apart.
The past couple of days have felt like that in more than one way. I have been keeping myself busy and getting some good things done, but somewhere mid afternoon or evening time I sometimes hit a wall. I guess it's when I get tired enough to really sit down and stop to think, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things to do around the house, and by my fresh feelings of loneliness. It's not crippling or anything, and I do feel like I'm making progress, but like the blanket, I sometimes feel I've taken three steps forward only to have to take two back. Still, that's one up for the day and that's not bad.
It's hard for me to grasp that tomorrow will be August. That means I've got a bit over two months until the new little one arrives, and that's a tiny bit stress-making. Her room is a catch-all for toys and diapers and the crib is full to the brim of junk I needed out of the way. I have about an eighth of the painters tape on the wall where I intend to paint some stripes, a chair that needs re-upholstering, prints to frame and hang, clothes to sort and wash, and a better storage solution to find for Evie's toys that now occupy the middle of the room. That's a lot, but it wouldn't feel so overwhelming if it weren't for the fact that just about every other room in the house needs some TLC too.
On a side note, Evie is now claiming Justin as an alibi for other mysteries...when her second tennis shoe went missing this morning she exclaimed, "Daddy...tookit...Af-gan-stan." Turned out, it was actually in the kitchen.

Third time

2010-07-29T13:24:00.003-05:00

Evie was told to smile for the camera.

Today is day #2 of deployment #3. Yesterday we dropped Justin off and began the countdown plunking off days until he's home again in a year. It's funny how some of the "deployment feelings" have been the same each time now, and some are very different. I always have this heavy, literal heartache. If you've had that feeling, you know what I mean. I always thought that was a figure of speech, but it's really not. My stomach usually feels a bit queasy when my mind wanders to the big picture of it--that he'll be away for an entire year and what that means he'll miss out on and what we'll have to do without him. But that's not how you do it--at least not how I do. I take it one day at a time, from one call to the next, happy with myself when I'm happy and strong and productive, and try not to get too down on myself when things just fall apart. They do sometimes, but isn't that the same with everyone? It just feels more lonely during deployment.

This time around, predictably, the hardest part I think is coming to terms, not with my own sense of loss, but with Justin's and Evelyn's. Our little girl just turned two and to imagine the child she will be in a year spins my head, and honestly breaks my heart. If the infrastructure is in place, which it hopefully will be, we will be able to Skype and allow for the two of them to still talk and see each other over the course of the year. Evie understands this concept and enjoys visiting with my parents via Skype, so I am hopeful it will help her cope and understand Justin's absence. As much as we've tried to explain, I can tell it just hasn't sunk in yet what this deployment thing means. Honestly, how can it? How do you explain to someone two years old that her daddy will be gone for half of the time she's been alive?

She's doing fine so far...she claimed this morning when I went in to change her diaper that "Daddy checked it" already. You might be afraid this is some kind of delusional coping mechanism, but it's just a sneaky two year old trying to get out of a diaper change. The "somebody else checked it" game started about a week ago...she first claimed to Justin that "Mommy checked it" and when he brought her in to ask me, confirming I had not, she switched gears, suggesting instead, "Bebe checked it!" You remember Bebe from The Inner Circle? She's not exactly capable of diaper changes...any more than Justin is for the next year.

Then there was this morning when Chokydar heard a noise outside the house starting her usual reaction and alerting everyone to the disturbance. Evie's eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "Daddy's home!!" with such joy, my tongue caught in my throat for a moment.

"No, honey, Daddy's not home yet. He won't be home for a long, long time, but he will come back and he loves us very much."

"He loves us VERY much," she agreed.

28 Weeks

2010-07-22T15:26:00.002-05:00

I found a photography series via Oh Dee Doh today called The Walk to 40 Weeks by The Panic Room and felt immediately inspired and guilty.

This beautiful series chronicles one woman's pregnancy from week 16 to the birth of their son. I love the creativity of it being staged as a walk, capturing the journey aspect of a pregnancy, and I love this gorgeous woman's maternity fashion. Where, oh where, did she find these non-frumpy gems?

The guilty part comes in as today marks my 28th week with our second. With Evelyn, I faithfully took simple pictures every few weeks chronicling my growing tummy, although that was before I had returned to maintaining this blog, so they never saw the light of day. Here's me at 28 weeks with Evie:

And so, today I took a couple of quick shots to capture part of this pregnancy. I know the second child is supposed to kind of get ripped off in terms of sentimental documentation, but I hope to do a little better for the poor dear...

This and that

2010-07-20T16:04:00.002-05:00

So, we're down to the final week. Every moment seems precious, but I ache to keep them mundane--normal, so that I don't feel that some impending doom is on its way. We're going about life...errands, work, chores, catching some Netflix here and there, and getting the house in order, but the deployment looms on the horizon and you can't help but count the minutes we have left together on the same continent.

We had a busy week with two birthdays. We celebrated Evie's on Thursday with just the three of us, and then again Saturday with a group of friends. I attempted to make Cookie Monster cupcakes, and was grateful to have years of practice before Evie gets more discriminating in her assessment of my cupcake-decorating skills.

She's been a real hoot lately. I know I've completely fallen off the wagon for my monthly letters. This time I didn't even bother to go back and see how long it's been. In any case, she's grown and changed so much it is impossible to try and communicate it properly, and I really do kick myself for not keeping track of some of the funnier things she'll say. She's speaking in more or less complete sentences now, although she will often get frustrated when we can't quite understand a new (or invented) word. Her speech is charmingly and purposefully enunciated, like she's trying to communicate with someone who speaks another language and may misunderstand her. Lately, she's taken to announcing, "It's...too...hot!" when we go outside (it's been in the 90s...).

This morning, when it was a pleasant 70 (hallelujah!), she already was making her forecast as I opened the door, "It's...too...hot...Mommy!"

I replied, "Actually, I think it's quite nice out Evie!"

"It's...too...nice...Mommy!" she corrected.

Having a two year old will certainly alert you to some of your bad habits, as I also learned this morning. As we left the Super Target, passing by the Starbucks, Evie exclaimed, "I...need...Starbucks...right...now...Mommy!" Oy vey.

She also is enjoying rhymes and songs at a new level. "This Little Piggy" and "Little Bunny Foo Foo" top the charts, along with the ABC song. She will request them in the car and gets no end of entertainment from listening and participating in their recitation.

Another random anecdote: We went to Texas Roadhouse last night for dinner, a favorite in the Watson household for many reasons. Personally, I like their ribs and cinnamon butter, but Evelyn is most fond of the "Piggy"--the costumed mascot armadillo that sometimes makes rounds at the restaurant. He of course is not always there, but when we go, she is instantly on the lookout for the Piggy, craning her neck and inquiring as to his whereabouts. I didn't hold out much hope that he'd be around last night, but sure enough, he appeared out of nowhere (a little frightening to me, but thrilling to E) and proceeded to mime some interactions with Evelyn, who was completely in awe. When he left we postulated on his activities...most likely he was hungry too, and needed to sit down and eat his macaroni and cheese, not unlike someone at our table.

Today, again in the car, Evie chimed in from the back, "Mommy? Piggy...not...here. Piggy...hungry...eat...macandcheese!"

Sunday was my 27th birthday. Twenty-seven, for me, is/was possibly the scariest of ages thus to date. I know this must sound silly to many of you, but somehow it feels more like turning a corner than I think 30 does. I don't really know how to explain it beyond that, but I find myself reflecting on the past year and where I want to be by 28, and I have a lot of ideas...

Happy Second Birthday, Sweetheart

2010-07-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

Day 1:

Day 365:

Day 730:

Hi again...

2010-07-13T14:43:00.002-05:00

Hmmm, it's me! I haven't updated my header since April, posted since May...what is this June? July? I think it's safe to say we've been living a bit of a whirlwind these past few weeks/months, and although the dust is starting to settle, that never lasts long around here.

We closed on the house on June 30th without complications and moved in to our new home after 42 days in an extended stay hotel (I'm sure the cleaning staff was as glad to see Chokydar leave as we were glad to go!) Our belongings arrived the following two days, as well as my parents to help us unpack and begin settling in. I've taken shamefully few pictures, but hope to remedy that. Here are a couple from our Independence Day cookout, celebrating our new digs with my mom, dad, aunt and uncle:

We're far from being completely unpacked, but most things are at least out of the moving box at this point. With me, things often get a lot worse before they get better; cleaning is a messy process. We've had help installing ceiling fans and fixtures, and I'm adding hardware to our cabinets and drawers (only one or two disaster moments so far). Again, pictures to come...

I have a long shopping list most days when we go out, including everything from potted plants (several of which I've already managed to kill...), bath mats, screws, charcoal, and rugs. Today I added another item, to be picked up in the coming week: Gobstoppers. If you've followed the blog for over a year, you may know what that means. Justin is getting ready to deploy again, this time (the third) to Afghanistan, rather than Iraq. As a means of visually passing the days, I count out 365 Gobstoppers and put them in a jar, to be eaten once daily beginning the day he leaves. Sadly, that day is quickly approaching, although for you, dear reader, it could actually be a good thing, because I think I tend to update the blog about 11 times as much when he's away as when he's here.

I'm going to have a lot to share, because Evie is growing like a weed, I've got a household to set up, a new community to explore, friends to make, projects to tackle (and complete), and, oh yeah, a new arrival in October that should keep things lively.

Stay tuned, loved ones, and while you're at it, send a prayer my way.

Under construction

2010-05-29T12:48:00.004-05:00

A couple of shots of the front elevation. The house faces east and will have stone where the plywood is around the bottom on the front.

Here's a shot of the house from behind. We are the second house in. The back yard isn't as big as we'd imagined, but I'm sure it will be plenty.

This shot is taken from the dining area looking back towards the front door down the entry hall. There is a study, powder room, stairs leading down to the basement and up to the second floor off the hall.

Here is the kitchen. The doorway in the corner will be the pantry. The window will be over the sink.

We have an 8 ft. sliding glass door from the dining area out to the back yard.

This is a view of the backyard through the glass door. The houses behind us block some of our view, but as you can see, there are mountains back there!

This is the living room. The fireplace will have an upgraded stone surround. I'm excited to see it finished.

There's a nice window that lights the stairwell as you go upstairs...

The master bedroom is at the top of the stairs and has some neat upgrades that came with the house including french doors, a raised ceiling, and the "deluxe master bath" with a large tub and double sinks.

This is one of the two extra bedrooms upstairs. We'll have to decide which one will be Evie's and which will be for the new little one.

These are samples of our design choices. We actually haven't seen them in person...I chose them all by pictures sent via e-mail from our design consultant. Hopefully they'll look good in real life!!

It's only about a month now until we are expected to close. I am like a kid waiting for Christmas. I am anxious to see the transformation as they continue building.

An update...

2010-05-26T11:25:00.003-05:00

May 4-5: We had our things packed up and moved for the third time.

May 8: We drove to Houston and stayed almost a week visiting friends and family. I took shamefully few pictures.

May 14: We jumped in the car and drove to San Antonio on the first leg of our road trip to our new home in Colorado Springs.

May 15: We drove to Carlsbad, NM and arrived that evening in time to go to the natural entrance of the cave there in order to watch the bat flight as they leave for their evening meal. Unfortunately Evie got too tired and we left before seeing the bats. I remember seeing the bat flight as a child and was disappointed that we couldn't stay to see it again, but it will just have to be something we save for when the kids are older.

May 16: We went back to Carlsbad Caverns to take a quick spin around one section of the cave. Since Chokydar waited for us in the facility's kennels and we had E in tow, we took the elevator down the 750 ft decent, saving us a 1.5-2 hr hike down the natural entrance. The cave was just as impressive as I remembered. Of course, pictures were difficult to take, but to give you an idea...

Still May 16: We headed out from Carlsbad and drove through Roswell, NM, which was larger than I expected and full of funny signs and billboards regarding alien encounters. We stopped for lunch (didn't see any aliens...) and then carried on to Santa Fe that evening.

I was really surprised by Santa Fe; I thought I would like it, but I hadn't realized how very beautiful it is there! I imagined that it was located in a flat expanse of desert, but it was outlined by gorgeous mountains and full of art and color, despite all the stucco architecture, which was also quite charming. We decided to dine at a local steakhouse listed in the hotel's restaurant guide...the guide unfortunately did not list prices and the restaurant ended up being a high end (read extrememly pricey) place that we all decided was good, but fell short of oh, say, Texas Roadhouse and cost nearly 4 times as much.

May 17: We arrived in Colorado Springs and stayed the first night with Justin's good friend Eric, who had been along on our roadtrip up from Houston, although he'd moved to Colorado Springs a few weeks earlier. He showed us around town, helped us orient ourselves and pointed out a few of his favorite local finds. We were able to drive by our new home, but weren't able to go inside that day.

May 18: We moved into our extended stay hotel. Our house isn't scheduled to be completed until as late as June 30, so we've got about 6 weeks in a hotel. Thankfully I was able to find one with two bedrooms and a kitchenette, so althought things are cramped and we're still living out of a suitcase, we have a bit more normalcy while we wait. I'm still impatient.

So that's where we are! Day 9 of 42+ in Colorado Springs as we wait for our home to be finished. Justin is In-Processing on post and I was able to be seen at the hospital and get our ultrasound scheduled for the second week in June. We will both be excited to learn more about B2!

More pictures of the house to come, as we have been able to get inside and have a look around...

It's Whirlwind Time

2010-04-28T10:34:00.002-05:00

Top row: Dover white, Nuance, Useful Gray, Analytical Gray

Bottom row: Ice Cube, Big Chill, Light French Gray

Those are paint colors from Sherwin-Williams as pictured above. The sad part is I made that picture myself for comparison and that I recalled the color names by memory.

Why, you ask, am I memorizing and obsessing over shades of gray paint? Because we're in the process of buying a house.

Yep. You heard that right.

Buying a house.

Two weeks ago we thought we would rent while living in Colorado Springs, but a handful of reasons avalanched on us and caused up abruptly to change our minds. In the span of about 3 days we went from thinking buying a house wasn't for us at this time to negotiating a contract. Crazy doesn't even begin to describe this whole ordeal, and while I am confident that this is a good decision, I can't help but be scared out of my mind by the whole thing.

Because of our schedules and the short time frame we're working in, we are not able to actually go and see the house. So yeah, we're buying a new house, sight unseen. Still crazy. Still a good idea. We're really excited about it and it feels both a bit overwhelming and also surprisingly normal. Sometimes I think it's not the big life decisions that stress me most, but rather little ones which I agonize over. The home is under construction and we'll be able to pick many of the design elements (limited by our budget) by looking at samples via e-mail mostly.

If all goes well we should close by June 30.

In the mean time, Justin will graduate from career course, we'll have another baby2 check up, we've got to pack up and move in the coming week, drive 8 hours to Houston, have family and business time in a matter of days, and road trip back up to Colorado through San Antonio, Carlsbad (NM), and Santa Fe for a total of about 1700 miles.

Did I mention we don't know where we will live in Colorado Springs until the house is completed?

I feel surprisingly good.

Oh, and my favorite color is Big Chill, although I just found out, it's not one of my options. Sigh. Now I'm thinking Nuance.

The Inner Circle

2010-04-23T20:17:00.002-05:00

A third member has joined the Inner Circle of friends. First there was Pound Puppy; one of my toys from childhood who was picked up in Houston on a visit to Nana and Granddaddy's. Then came Bebe; a gift from my dear friend Kat from college on a visit to Jersey over the holidays. And now, Pooh Bear has been initiated into the most sacred group of friends. Oddly enough, (this particular) Pooh has been around practically since Evie was born--he was a gift from my sister, and I used him monthly as a prop next to Evie as a sort of measuring standard when I took pictures of her as she grew in her first year.

I don't know why it's taken so long for her to take to him to this level, but she has. He is now one of three. They go around the house with us. They go in the car with us. They are often requested in the bath--that's a tough one to explain. Since her love for Pooh sprouted, I introduced her to the original Disney Pooh movie, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and that's been a new favorite as well. She dances to Tigger's song and repeats after Piglet when he stutters "Oh, d-d-d-dear dear!"

In any case, I don't know how The Inner Circle could go from three to four. Her arms will have to grow to accommodate carrying anything else!

Delicious Not Fried Fries

2010-04-15T06:35:00.003-05:00

y mother had a recipe for oven baked french fries, and lately I've been really craving them. I found this recipe online at Allrecipes.com and can tell you after trying it the other night that it was a HUGE success. Completely addictive and so much healthier than fried fries, if you're a potato fan, you need to try your hand at these:

Oven Fresh Seasoned Potato Wedges

Ingredients:

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 russet potatoes, scrubbed and cut into eighths

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).

Place Parmesan cheese, olive oil, onion powder, garlic powder, pepper, salt, and potatoes into a resealable plastic bag. Seal the bag, then shake to coat the potatoes with the seasoning. Spread the potatoes over a baking sheet.

Bake in the preheated oven until the potatoes are easily pierced with a fork, about 25-30 minutes.

***Photo by CookinBug.***

A word about letters

2010-04-14T08:21:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to give special mention to the amazing typographer/illustrator/designer Jessica Hische. I've been a long time admirer of her work and last September she began a great project, Daily Drop Cap, in which she, as the name implies, creates a drop cap letter daily. I've been using them on my blog and wanted to give special credit and highlight her work.

Biscuits, Gravy, and Giraffes

2010-04-14T07:09:00.002-05:00

his is a bit of a catch up post as I just uploaded the pictures from my camera and have several rather unrelated things to share. They do all involve Evie, so I suppose they're not that unrelated after all. First of all, we have a picture from one Sunday afternoon when Justin was holding Evie after she woke up from her nap, and she fell back asleep on him for another half an hour:

Next, we dyed eggs for the first time this Easter. It was a lot of fun; Evie mostly colored on hers with the wax crayon and then we dipped them in the dye. Sadly, I did a really poor job capturing the whole event, but here's proof that it happened:

And finally, we took a trip up to Oklahoma City this past weekend. The weather was just so gorgeous, we slapped on our sunscreen and climbed in the car. As our weeks dwindle here in OK, we had to take in breakfast at one of our favorite finds in OKC, Pioneer Pies. They have an amazing selection of fresh baked pies on hand all the time, but I must admit, as wonderful as their pies are, my favorite thing they do is breakfast. It is huge and hearty with choices ranging from fruit topped waffles to pancakes, eggs and sausage, bacon, french toast, omelets, breakfast burritos, country potatoes, and the best biscuits and gravy I think I've ever had.

We headed over to the zoo after breakfast and had a great time seeing the animals. I think Evie's favorite might have been the ducks in the pond, although the giraffes gave the ducks a run for their money.

Day Seven.

2010-04-13T09:26:00.003-05:00

t's been a full week since my last post, and miraculously I have woken every single day for an entire week at 5 am to workout! I am really proud of myself and I also can tell that there is a great improvement in my energy; although I do have a pretty nasty midday slump. If I'm able to take a nap when Evie does I feel better, but I hate loosing that time in which I could be doing something else and often I find I'm not ready for bed by 9 if I've had an afternoon nap. If I don't take a nap I'm MORE than ready for bed at 9 pm.

I'm also starting the second trimester of this pregnancy. Where did the first one go? I remember with Evie it seemed to take forever for the days and weeks to pass because I'd sit counting days and reading about fingernail growth and what size fruit she currently most resembled. I guess mostly because of her now I just don't have the time to do that, plus of course having been through a pregnancy before it's not quite as disorienting. I plan to start taking bi-monthly pictures or so to chart tummy growth; I did that last time, although I wasn't keeping the blog at the time. I've heard that women often "show" sooner in subsequent pregnancies, and I'm interested to see if that holds true for me. I really didn't look pregnant until about 32 weeks or so. Until then I just looked bloated, and I was endlessly amused by the number of people who were obviously confused by the question of whether I was pregnant or just overweight. My favorite time was when the optometrist I saw somewhere around 7 or 8 months pregnant asked if I were taking any supplements or special vitamins, hoping to get me to admit to taking prenatal vitamins and thus settle the question of my status. Poor man, I can only assume he'd wrongly guessed that a woman was pregnant before and was desperate to avoid the mistake again. He was so relieved when I said, "Why yes, I am taking prenatal vitamins," but was quite surprised to know how soon I was supposed to deliver.

Anyway, I will be pretty excited if this time around I look more gradually pregnant, and less like I've indulged in too many coffee cakes until weeks before delivery.

What's going on:

2010-04-06T18:49:00.008-05:00

I'm pregnant. 13 weeks tomorrow. Due Oct. 14.
I have a cold. Again.
I get nauseous at night; so far no sick-making.
This baby's name will be Mudd.
No, but seriously, this kid is kicking my butt in a way that Evie did not.
Justin thinks it's a boy.
I don't know one way or the other.
Evie likes going outside now that the weather is nice.
I worked out for the first time today in over a week.
I'm having a really hard time working out.
I have very low energy and motivation to do much.
I've just realized that we will be moving in about a month and there's a lot to do.
I made bunny finger puppets for Evie for Easter.
She wasn't that impressed.
Evie asked for "Thomas??" meaning Thomas the tank engine, whom she desperately wanted to watch. Unfortunately it was not time for Thomas the tank engine to come on tv. After finding some video clips online, we discovered that wasn't good enough--or perhaps only fueled her unquenchable desire for Thomas, and we were left to endure the repeated request for "THOMAS??!??" for about 15 minutes despite multiple explanations of why watching Thomas on television was impossible at the moment and the implementation of brilliant distraction techniques. Curse you, Thomas, all of your train friends, and Sir Topham Hatt too!
I'm itching to redesign the blog again.
I drew outside yesterday with Evie.
It felt good.
I have an exciting project in the works.
I miss Julia.
I woke today at 5 am to try (again) to establish a morning workout routine. The plan this time: For 10 days I will go to bed at 9 pm and wake at 5 am to do 30 minutes on the spinning bike, or some other equivalent cardio. Internets, you will help keep me honest.

So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

2010-03-24T18:37:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted anything in weeks. It's been both a busy time and a slow time. We've had a trip to the emergency room for bacon grease burns on Evie's face (that's a complete story unto itself...), celebrated a friend's birthday and St. Patrick's Day, taken in some theater and discovered some new restaurants. The weather has been kind of bizarre, ranging from extremely gorgeous to downright nasty in a matter of hours. Especially on bad weather days I find myself struggling to mount the energy to do much.

For instance, this morning I sat down to post these pictures. Evie and I picked up some chalk the other day and spent the afternoon drawing on the back patio. I know I had a lot I wanted to say when I sat down to write this...stories to tell, anecdotes and news, but I'm pretty much drawing a blank right now. It's been that way. I'll muster the energy to do start something but haven't been really successful at following through lately.

Ok, I'll come back later. Just wanted to say hi and that we're still here. Hope you're good too.

Patience is a virtue. One that I don't have.

2010-03-04T13:35:00.003-06:00

That's maybe slightly harsh. I can be patient. I can wait for cookies to bake before eating them...oh wait...maybe that's not the best example...

Okay, I can wait for, you know, things to come in the mail and for the clothes to finish in the dryer. Not so impressive?

I do have a problem with things operating outside my control. This, of course is a real problem because many, many things in truth are beyond my control. I like things to happen on my timetable, unfolding exactly how and when I imagined. Most of the time I am a logical person. I like to make plans and my plans are usually well-laid. Sometimes, however, I get caught up in how I'd like things to be rather than how they are. Re: The Matterhorn. We're starting to think more about our next PCS--we'll be moving to Ft Carson, Colorado in about two months. It is not an unusual custom to scout out a place to live before PCSing so that the transition between homes is as smooth as possible, and it was my intention to do just that. Now, because Justin is still in class and we have Chokydar to care for, the plan began taking form that Evie and I would fly up to Colorado together to go house hunting.

This plan had been in the works for several weeks when I met with Julia yesterday afternoon and was explaining to her my plans for the re-con trip. That's when it happened. I said the plans out loud. I don't know how many times I've told myself that I need to institute this safety measure when making plans--something can sound perfectly reasonable, brilliant even, in my head, but when vocalized I realize it is utter lunacy.

I began, "So Evie and I will drive up to Oklahoma City during the work week so Justin will still be at home in the evenings to care for Chokydar. I'll park the car at the airport in OKC, put the car seat on the stroller device and strap Evie back in, swing on a backpack for the trip and we'll be off. We'll get to Denver and rent a car to drive down to a hotel in the Springs. I'll have appointments to view several houses lined up in advance. We'll pick the best option, fill out our paperwork and be on our way after a few days, back to Denver, OKC and home to Lawton."

Suddenly I felt exhausted just having explained the thing. Julia looked at me like I had three eyes. "A backpack?" she began, "How big is this backpack, Michele? You're going to fit everything you need for you and Evie for 3-4 days in a backpack?"

I will miss so much having Julia around to gently tell me when I'm being insane, but that's another story. She really didn't have to say much else; just telling her my plan out loud made me realize it was not my best idea of all time. Somewhere in my eagerness for this move to go smoothly, I lost track of reason. Surely the two weeks or so in a hotel we will spend looking for housing upon our arrival in May is worth the expense, headache, and exhaustion of a multiple day car rental, plane tickets, hotel fees, and running around a new city without Justin's help, with Evie in tow.

So I take a deep breath, and wait. I will be patient, even if it does not come naturally. We will find a lovely place to live. We will have enough time to settle in before Justin deploys. You would think I would have figured it out by now, that God takes care of us, and His plans for us are better than any I can devise.

La la la la! La la la la! Evie's words!

2010-02-17T08:23:00.002-06:00

First of all, if you caught the reference in the title, I'm sorry.

And now, on to the list. These are most of the words that I can recall Evie now says unprompted. First, her version and then in parenthesis the actual word, in case for some reason it is unclear to you what she's saying:

Day-too! (thank you!)
El-com (you're welcome)
Ma-ie (Mommy)
Daa-ie (Daddy)
Dar (Chokydar)
Elmo (Elmo)
Boh/boht (bottle)
Peat! (please!)
Book (book)
Boot (hippopotamus. No, I'm just kidding. Boot.)
Shu (shoe)
Bebe (Bebe)
Pou-puh (Pound Puppy)
Bye (bye)
Hi (hi)
Pa-ie (potty)
No (NO)
DES! (yes)
Doos (juice)
Meow (meow)
oof (woof)
dun! (done)
gara (garage)
ipah (iPod)
bana (banana)
mote (remote)
ibow (eyebrow)
iye (eye)
mou (mouth)
nos (nose)
buhsh (brush)
wshh (wash)
fnn (fan)
down (down)
UH UH! (whatever she is pointing at...)

I'm sure I'm missing a few...perhaps I'll come back and add them as they come to me.

17, 18, 19 +1

2010-02-16T08:53:00.004-06:00

Dear Evelyn,

It almost seems foolish to apologize. I think I just need to accept that I'm no good at getting these letters out on time anymore and move on. I actually began writing this about three weeks ago. I'd missed two months and thought I'd better just write something, but alas, I never finished it. So the letter today is a bit of a mess. I can't remember exactly what all has happened since November. It's been a lot. I can't tell you really how your 17th month was different from your 18th. I've lost track of it all, but it needs to be documented somehow, because your growth and progress is astonishing, and if I can't keep track of it three months later, how in the world will I remember in twenty years unless I write it down now?

Where to even begin? Your problem solving and mimicry skills are through the roof. We can't say something without you repeating it. When I brush my hair, you want to brush yours. You brush your teeth when I do (and with a zeal that is quite surprising). You use your toy keys to "start" the rocking moose before riding. You imitate animal noises without prompting. You try on my shoes. You blow on your food.

I've read that kids like to be helpers around this age, and you must have read it too, because you LOVE to help. You pick up stray pieces of Chokydar's food and put them back in her bowl. (That's gross to me, btw.) You hand me clean dishes out of the washer. You put wet clothes into the dryer for me. You help me sort socks. You put things back in drawers and cabinets. This, of course, is after you have systematically emptied said drawer/cabinet of its entire contents. I'm beginning to understand and sympathize with my mother's explanation for anything that went missing around the house: "That girl! Michele must have taken it!" I'm sorry, mother! You take trash to the can, open the lid and throw it away. You reprogram my cell phone's ringtones. Okay, wait, that one is not too helpful.

There have been some new additions to our lives these past few months. It seems ridiculous that we were ever without them now...Elmo is now a member of the family via dvd. And you love him. We love him less. Grover was always my favorite muppet, and I have covert plans to introduce you to Grover in hopes of changing your allegiance. Secondly, my good friend Kat gave you a doll when we visited Jersey that has since been named "Bebe" that is your FAVORITE toy. You sleep with Bebe (pound puppy still too, just Bebe has joined the pack), frequently eat with Bebe, talk to Bebe, travel with Bebe, "wash" Bebe's hands and face, and have administered "medicine" to Bebe. This of course, is also something new in these past few months--the emergence of your imagination. Your pretend play is wonderful to watch and also quite a relief, as you've stopped actually eating your wooden fruit and veggie play set in favor of pretend nibbling on it. There are accompanying sound effects.

You wave bye-bye to "Daa-ie" every morning when he leaves for work and squeal with delight when he comes home again. You love trips to the park and going outside. You have a fascination with pine cones. You have A LOT of teeth now. I've lost count. You are a charmer; strangers love you, as well as those who know you, of course. You can also be a drama queen. I hear that's karma coming back to get me from my childhood. I gave you your first haircut--gosh, back in November now? December? I saved the baby hairs, but now I can't remember where I put them... You play with ipod apps. You place our hands on your tummy and hold them there when we cuddle. You've been sleeping extremely well--usually until about 7 am and go to bed without a peep about 7-7:30 pm.

Nineteen months. It's hard to wrap my head around it.

I still love you more every day.

Love,

Mommy

Three cheers for the bobby pin.

2010-02-09T11:14:00.007-06:00

Main Entry: bobby pin
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from bob
Date: 1926
: a flat wire hairpin with prongs that press close together

...What Merriam-Webster left out was ": sometimes used in amazing feats of ingenuity."

It was a matter of weeks ago when I mentioned to Justin one of Evie's latest developments that had occurred while he was away at work:

"Watch out," I said, "Evie likes to close doors now, only she can't yet manage to open them again and if any of the doors have locks on them she might be able to lock herself in."

I mentioned this especially because I have vivid memories of my brother, sister and I playing with the door locks growing up. In one memorable instance, John dared Denise and I that he could escape, Houdini style from being bound in a chair and locked inside the hall bathroom. I'm going to go ahead and say that he dared us. It is possible that we just tied him up and locked him in the bathroom. He was having a good time though, until it became apparent that he, in fact, could not escape the knots we'd secured and he started wailing for help. We, of course, panicked, realizing the trouble we'd be in since the door was locked from the inside. My mother rushed down the hallway, alerted by John's shouts to the situation, and assessed the situation.

Now, I think to most children, their parents seem to know everything, but my mother really had some neat tricks up her sleeve. She can sew, build, or solve just about anything you need her to, and armed with a credit card and a bobby pin, she jimmied the lock open on that bathroom door within about a minute.

Fast forward twenty years or so. Friday night, I'm getting ready for the opening of the LCT Benefit. Justin's in the kitchen fixing dinner while I tease and spray my hair and apply gobs of stage makeup. Evie is running back and forth between the two of us, giggling her head off. Every few minutes I take a break to chase her down the hall, sending her squealing. We both have an eye on her, but only one eye each, which of course, leaves room for trouble.

She began playing a favorite game of hers: she goes into her bedroom, pushes the door closed then goes and climbs into the rocking chair. I come, open the door and peek in, and she, miffed at the intrusion on her privacy, climbs down from the chair, crosses the room and shuts the door once more, closing me out.

There I go, back and forth, getting ready, peeking in, until the time that I go to turn the knob and it won't budge. Locked. I momentarily panic and kick myself for KNOWING BETTER, but E hasn't yet figured out that she can't get out. I call to Justin to find--what else, a credit card and a bobby pin--and Evie starts trying to open the door, realizing that she can't.

Justin arrives with the bobby pin and credit card and looks at them doubtfully.

"Doesn't that sort of thing only work in the movies?" he asked.

"No. I know for a fact this can work," I replied. And sure enough, after a few moments of fiddling with the lock with my trusty bobby, I managed to unlock the door. Evie came out and hugged us both, although I have a feeling the ordeal wasn't enough to deter her from trying that sort of thing again.

For my part, I felt both a little like MacGyver...and also an idiot.

Without Power; With Friends.

2010-01-30T21:44:00.004-06:00

About Wednesday of last week the town was a buzz with talk of a coming ice storm.

"It's supposed to be worse than the Christmas Eve storm!" someone said.

"Did you hear that they've cancelled school tomorrow in anticipation?" another countered.

"But it's nearly seventy degrees out!" a third chimed in.

Indeed, it all seemed a little rash, but when you're in Oklahoma, this kind of cold weather storm is sort of a big deal. They don't happen every day, and when they do, the town is left scrambling to salt the roads, plow the streets, and make all the preparations that are second nature in northern cities that experience this sort of thing multiple times every winter.

Thursday arrived and it didn't look quite so bad. Still, Justin was sent home around 11 am from class. Things began to pick up that afternoon; first wind and rain, and then the ice began to form. The wind blew so hard as to make the icicles form at an angle!

We had a couple of flickers in our power, but didn't think much of it...until at 4:45 when the lights went out and didn't come back on.

After a few minutes we looked up the number for the power company and called to report the outage and get an estimate on how long we could expect to wait before the power would be restored.

"I can't give you an accurate estimate at this time. Power should be restored by 11 am on Monday, but it could be sooner."

Monday was a bad answer. Without a working fireplace, four days was way too long to be in an unheated home with an 18 month old. Thankfully, K&J still had power and welcomed us into their home because every hotel we called in Lawton was already full to the brim.

Our stay included Wii golf, bowling, and The Price is Right, Syfy's Alice, a very competitive game of Scrabble, delicious cookies (and other food), hot coffee, a comfortable air mattress, and of course, a visit with good friends. When Justin and Kellen went to check on the status of our power Friday morning they discovered that it had been restored. We stayed another night with K&J anyway. It was that much fun.

After more than four years of growing friendship, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when we go our separate ways in a few months. Trying to soak up every minute...

Falling down on the job.

2010-01-25T08:41:00.003-06:00

I write this blog for several reasons. For one, I like to write, and I don't get to do it very often since college. I also know it's a way to keep the people we care about updated on news and events in our lives when it would be very difficult to share photos and stories otherwise. It's a small way for me to try and reach out to like minded people on topics like motherhood and crafting. And finally it's just a great place for me to reflect and share what I'm feeling and thinking. I find that writing things down often helps me recognize patterns and identify things that I like or don't like and want to change.

In terms of news sharing, then, I've definitely fallen down on the job. Two weeks ago Justin submitted our preferences for his next duty station. I think there were something like 39 people vying for the available positions that had been given by list in advance. The Order of Merit for who had the opportunity to select first was based on number of months deployed and dwell time (number of months at home since your last deployment). Thankfully, Justin's purple heart was factored in by including the months he would have completed from his first deployment and we were somewhere near the top of the OML with 23 months deployed and 9 months of dwell time since his last deployment.

Given the available slots, we had ranked our preferences something like this:

1. Fort Lewis (near Tacoma in WA)

2. Fort Carson (Colorado Springs, CO)

3. Fort Stewart (closest to Savannah, GA)

4. Fort Campbell (Clarksville, TN)

5. Fort Riley (closest to Topeka, KS)

We'd hoped to get one of our top three. On the day Justin was to submit his request, he called me, minutes before his meeting with the Branch Rep. He'd heard some information that made him seriously question ranking Lewis as number one. We decided quickly to swap Carson to our first choice, and then the waiting began.

We had anticipated at least two weeks of wait time, so we were surprised and thrilled last week when he got word of his assignment to one of the three available slots at Fort Carson, CO.

From everything I've heard (and from what I remember as a child--we took two vacations to the Springs growing up), Colorado Springs is absolutely lovely and should make a wonderful home for us in the coming years. We are very excited and I've already begun to research (of course) about the area.

I pray that when we make our move in a few months that we will have a smooth transition, find opportunities for our growth, make new friends, and have a new place to call home.

In which I nearly punch a woman in the face.

2010-01-22T13:03:00.004-06:00

We live less than 10 minutes away from the drive thru Starbucks in town. I'm not going to say that's why we picked our place, but it certainly didn't hurt. Today while I was out I needed to pick up some more coffee beans and swung by Starbucks on my way home.

I chose a pound of the Pike Place Roast and got in line. The woman in line in front of me glanced over her shoulder at me and gave a quick forced grin. Her eyes rested on my bag of coffee beans for a moment as the guy behind the counter reached for it and asked if I'd like it ground.

"Sure," I replied.

The woman looked back at me and asked, "Was that from over here? How much is that?"

Thinking that she was considering some for herself, I replied, quite helpfully, "Yes, just there. I think it's $9.95?"

"Ah," she said with a knowing smirk and a raised eyebrow. Next she looked at me and said, pointedly, more like a statement than a question, "Is your husband in the military?"

Now I'd lost my footing a little. Relevance?

"Ummm...Yes?"

"Well, then, you should know that you can get that in the commissary for $5.95. AND last week they had a coupon for a dollar off," she snapped, again with the little knowing smirk.

"........." I said.

".....well, that's good to know," I finished, as I listened to the guy grinding my beans. That would have been great to know before the guy took them to be ground, I thought.

And then she gives me a little laugh and another self-satisfied, condescending little gesture, and places her order for a grande Pike Place Roast, after clarifying to a different barista that NO, the ground bag of Pike Place was NOT part of her order, as if she could be that foolish.

Okay, just a few things here. One, I totally need to not let myself get worked up about this sort of thing, but I do.

Two, I was polite, but what I should have said was, "Gee, first of all, that's none of your business. Secondly, I live not far from here, so the time (40 minutes to get there and back with no traffic) and gas (16 miles round trip) it takes to go on post just doesn't seem to make the savings worth it to me. And even if I did want to save $4, I'd do just about anything to avoid going on post and having to talk to know-it-all busy bodies like YOU."

Point number three: If she was really interested in saving on her coffee, maybe she'd like to know that her little brewed cup of coffee cost her about 6 times (something like $.31 vs. $1.95) what it does to brew a cup at home. So if she buys a cup even three times a month, guess what? Her little commissary savings tip didn't make such a difference.

Wrist action

2010-01-19T14:37:00.002-06:00

Justin gave me some fantastic yarn as part of my Christmas present. He chose several colors, and got me one skein in each, so I needed a project that would not require too much yarn. After long admiring Sandra Juto's Wrist Worms, I thought I would try my hand making something similar for myself.

It took me several tries, experimenting with different stitches, circumferences and lengths, but I finally arrived at a pattern that works for me. I chose to make mine are lengthier than Sandra's, but I wanted to retain the beautiful simplicity of her design.

Sadly, for both the heathered grey and the burnt orange colors, I need a second skein in order to have one for each hand! I'd rush to order another, but Justin and I are experimenting with a personal spending hiatus in order to focus on what we already have (but that's another story...), so I'll have to wait a little while in order to complete the pairs.

I suppose, however, that really I'm just fine with only one for now, seeing as my left wrist is living in a brace these days. I was diagnosed with tenosynovitis last week when I finally broke down and saw the doctor after about 6 months of chronic wrist pain. It's been mostly in my left hand, although my right hand will occasionally begin to hurt too. It's funny to me, because Justin and I had termed it "Mommy Wrist," to know that apparently it's a common ailment among mothers because of all that baby-liftin'. I am supposed to wear the brace for three weeks. If there has not been improvement by that point they do a steroid injection into the place where the tendons are inflamed. Yikes! I am looking to avoid that, so I've been dutifully wearing my brace, although I feel rather silly doing so as it is such a lame injury. People have been asking me with concern what happened and I feel sheepish giving the ultimately boring explanation of "inflamed tendons from baby lifting."

I was thinking of spicing up my explanation...maybe instead I could tell of...arm wrestling with Katee Sackhoff...my new hobby watermelon juggling...or an unfortunate encounter with a wild turkey at the OKC zoo.

Kitty cats and staircases

2010-01-15T09:22:00.003-06:00

On our family trip to NJ/NY a few weeks ago, Justin and I were able to go see a matinee of Ragtime on Broadway thanks to some of my closest friends from Rutgers. They watched Evie for us one day and did all kinds of fun things at their house, like make banana zucchini bread, climb stairs, and pet the two cats that reside there. Did I mention there were STAIRS and CATS? Okay, just making sure. Evie wanted to make it clear that those were important elements in the story.

One of my friends, Brad, took some great shots of E during the day that he's shared on his blog Through the Pinhole Lens. You should check it out, and while you're there, look at his other fantastic photography. I especially enjoyed the pictures from his recent trip to D.C.

No way

2010-01-14T20:41:00.002-06:00

I've been trying (once again) to do the whole "get up at 5:30 am to work out thing," but some mornings (like this morning) I don't manage it. On mornings like this one, I only get out of bed when Evie wakes and groggily calls to me. She's not much of a morning person. I get some milk for her and bring her back to bed with me where I pathetically lie in bed, both of us awake (Justin out being hooah at PT), trying to eek out a few more horizontal minutes.

One of my tactics to lengthen this time has been to let Evie play with the ringtones on my phone. (Insert that pathetic part again...) She has thus began calling the phone "Bah bah bah bah bah!" after her favorite ringtone entitled "Sunny Day." The rhythm is something like three eighth notes, a dotted quarter, then another eighth, to give you the full context--E says the 'bah bahs' in rhythm. This is usually a very innocent activity in the early hours of the morning, but on occasion she has accidentally exited out of the ringtone menu and, before I have noticed, activated my speed dial (sorry Momma, Denise, and an apology in advance to Julia...it's bound to happen to you one of these days...).

Well, today, while excitedly dancing to the "bah bah bah bah bahs" Evie lost grip on the phone and it fell between the mattress and the wall behind the bed. In the dead center. I tried reaching for it, but it was no good, so I simply abandoned it there for most of the morning. (Suddenly it's WAY less cool since I got my ipod touch.)

Mid afternoon or so I decided I really needed to make an effort to get it back out. This was going to involve me finding something long to reach and poke with, and a lot of wiggling on my stomach, face in the carpet. So what did I do? I told Chokydar to go get it.

Now here's the crazy part. She made for going under the bed. I was like WHAAA??? No way!!! We've never trained her to do tricks really and, although I suspect her of speaking English fairly fluently, the response was so immediate and unexpected, it took me completely by surprise. I do this sort of thing all the time now with Evelyn (try new suggestions, not send her under the bed) because she is more and more capable every day. She often will surprise me by being able to do something I wasn't really sure that she could. It's almost as if Choky had been observing this phenomenon and was afraid that Evie was showing her up.

So I got the phone back. But no thanks to Chokydar. Apparently one of her toys was just under the edge of the bed, so she's not a super genius after all. She's still a Super Puli, though.

And I discovered Justin's missing ipod under the bed as well!! It had presumable suffered the same fate as my phone, but no one knew it. We've been looking for that thing for weeks!

A dangerous pastime...

2010-01-06T08:41:00.003-06:00

So I've been thinking...

In comparing this year's holidays to last year I was struck by a couple of things. Last year I was not super excited about Christmas; even thought about not putting up the tree (I did put it up, with Julia's help!). Without Justin home and Evie not old enough to know what was going on it just didn't feel the same. This year however, I was super psyched for Christmas, started decorating and crafting and wrapping and singing ASAP and yet I felt like the 25th came and went not unlike a steam engine. It was a wonderful holiday, don't get me wrong, but I felt a bit railroaded by the whole thing and have some ideas of how I may want to do things differently in the future.

Similarly, last New Year's I was incredibly excited. Again, I think it had much to do with turning the page onto the calendar year in which Justin would return from deployment. I was full of hope and enthusiasm and excitement and possibilities. This year, on the other hand, I'm having a harder time getting off the ground. I don't want to mislead you; I'm not without excitement for the new year. I think my major problem is that I look around and see so many things I'd like to improve, I don't know where to begin. And then I get exhausted just thinking about it all.

There are some small things off the top of my head that I want to do for myself. This year I want to:

-Read more. I used to be an avid reader, and nowadays I simply don't sit down to read. Anything counts, but I'd like to focus on new fiction (reading Harry Potter over and over doesn't count).

-Drink more water. Some days I go a whole day without drinking any. Unless you count the water used to make my coffee. No? I didn't think that counted.

-Declutter. Especially my wardrobe. Goodbye wishful thinking size 8 pants.

-Draw. Anything.

-Take more walks with Chokydar and Evie. (Justin too of course, but he's not just wild about them, whereas the other two can't get enough.

I'd also like to get rid of some of my emotional crutches. For instance, when I'm stressed or avoiding something, I have the tendency to gobble candy. When I say "gobble" think entire boxes in a day. Then I'll go out and get more. I thought it would be a good idea to give up candy altogether for a year, as I see myself more of an abstainer than a moderator, but this idea was not greeted enthusiastically by anyone I tested it on. ("You're going to do WHAT?!?!?") So that idea is on hold, although I'm still debating instituting it.

I came across some useful looking resolution/goal worksheets (I NEED spreadsheets, charts, calendars, check lists, etc.) and think I will look over them to try and get myself geared up and open to renewal. They are both from Simplemom.net and have gotten me thinking. This one is maybe a little too in depth for me, but is a good jumping off point, and I like the philosophy behind this post that says "winter is the time for setting goals, not starting goals."

Are you making resolutions/goals for 2010?

There and back again

2010-01-04T22:33:00.003-06:00

We got back Sunday afternoon from our "vacation" (i.e. lots of enjoyable hard work) to Houston and New Jersey/New York. The trip included treacherous icy road conditions, snow storms, family, the best of friends, catching up, Evie's first encounter with stairs, excellent fondue, wii golf and bowling, a diverted excursion to Menlo Park mall instead of West Point, Cinnamon crunch bagels (with hazelnut cream cheese) from Panera, the NJ Transit, taking the wrong train for the first time ever, Ragtime on Broadway, fantastic Greek food on 56th and 7th, and the flight from hell, and much, much more. Well, nevermind...after hearing of the debacle at Newark airport this week, suddenly our trip didn't seem nearly so bad.

And through all of that (or perhaps because of), I somehow managed to take only a handful of pictures. Thankfully the drive back up to OK was the best we've had in months and we're using the week to unpack, settle back into routine, play with Christmas toys, and welcome the new year!

Hope yours has started well!

Christmas Eve Eve

2009-12-23T22:57:00.004-06:00

Another finished project! I spotted this idea from caprimaize on flickr and wanted to do something similar. Unfortunately the letters she used in hers were from Anthropologie--I love the store but can only shop there when their clearance is on clearance. Their letters were going for $18 a pop. Ouch. So that kind of ruled that out for me at this point and I managed to find some decent substitutes at Hobby Lobby for about a buck each. The typography isn't as stylish, but it's modern and simple enough, and for the savings it was the way to go!

I've been working hard trying to get the house straightened up. I'm still unpacking and rearranging from the move, and then throw in Christmas decorations to the mix. Between Evie, Choky, and Justin, (okay, and me too) it's as if entropy exists here at a rate unparalleled anywhere else in the universe.

I finally gave up tonight, moved as much clutter as possible out of the living room and took pictures as if this is how the place actually looks.

It should be fun navigating the way down the hall in the dark tonight without waking Evie.

Glasses, glass, girl, giggles (and spoon)

2009-12-21T13:53:00.004-06:00

What to do on the Monday before Christmas?

Get your groove on

2009-12-21T13:50:00.002-06:00

This kid can move.

Almost guaranteed to be the prettiest thing you hear today.

2009-12-16T16:17:00.004-06:00

This is the a singing of "A Christmas Blessing" written by Phillip Stopford in Belfast Cathedral, Northern Ireland, conducted by the composer, October 2008. Our choir at Centenary is singing this and it just makes me swoon.

Enjoy!

This weekend

2009-12-14T11:00:00.003-06:00

What day is it today?? The fourteenth? As in, Christmas-is-in-a-week-from-Friday the fourteenth of December? Where has this month gone? Where has the year gone for that matter??

This weekend was really low key for us as Justin got a bad stomach bug that landed him horizontal and unable to eat for pretty much 48 hours. He said he didn't feel all that bad other than for the fact that he couldn't control his bodily functions and for the persistent pain in his abdomen. (I tucked Evie's bear under his arm for that photo. This prompted him to mutter, "Can't a man be sick in peace?" Then he smiled.)

His not eating this weekend has caused me to come face to face with an unfortunate reality. I'm having a hard time justifying holiday baking this year. It simply doesn't feel quite like Christmas without lots of baked goods around, but when your household comprises of two adults (both hoping to watch their weight), a 17 month old and a puli, there's not a lot of room for sweets. I have a couple of recipes waiting to be made, but I know how this story will end: I will make the cookies, and then I will eat them. Probably mostly by myself, because I'm quick like that. This would be delicious, but not good for me, so I'm needing to come up with an alternate plan. Either 1) I do not make the cookies or 2) I make the cookies and then find someone else to whom I can give/mail them. Hmmmm....

After a major cold snap last week, it's been a bit warmer (40s-50s) the past couple of days. I have to admit that I miss the super cold weather. There's something really nice to me about having the tiniest bit of a chill in the house so that you need a cozy blanket for snuggling. I like walking past the windows and feeling the cold outside in contrast to the warmth indoors.

The Christmas tree has presented an interesting challenge for Evie. She can go for hours without paying much attention to it, but when she does turn her attention to it, there's no distracting her. We've explained that the ornaments and lights are for looking, not touching, but unfortunately this is a concept that Evie feels is open for debate. "No" brings tears often nowadays, and I can't help but be amused by them, because they are the biggest crocodile tears you ever saw. If you look closely in that third picture you'll see a big wet one above her grin. My father always teased me about my ability to laugh and cry at the same time, and as far as I can tell, this one has inherited the trait.

The alphabet, a la Evelyn.

2009-12-13T13:56:00.002-06:00

She's been doing this for a little while now, and of course, never does it as well for the camera as on the fly, but you can get the picture. As well as letters, she is now repeating the beginnings of many words; "ba" for bottle, "ma" for makeup, "ch" is Chokydar (although my family swears she can say Chokydar, I've still never heard it...), etc.

Watch out Fred and Ginger

2009-12-12T20:12:00.003-06:00

She's testing out her new red Christmas shoes and has discovered that the hollow ornament box makes for a lovely tapping surface. Think Top Hat with her as Fred, and the ornament boxes "downstairs" as Ginger, trying to get some sleep. Lord help me if she finds some sand for soft shoe...

And yes, that is an empty prescription bottle she's playing with.

Deck the Halls

2009-12-11T15:05:00.004-06:00

I have about six craft projects in the works at any given time. It's so easy to keep gathering materials for them, and you can come across so many neat ideas for things; it's much more difficult finding the time to actually do them.

Lately I've been looking around and taking inventory of all the unfinished projects...my granny square blanket (I've lost most of my motivation on that one as it came through the move a little musty), another crocheted afghan I'd nearly finished only to have to unravel and rework due to shoddy joining technique, a Christmas quilt, stockings (indefinitely on hold), oh, and there are so many more. I decided it was a good time to stop collecting and start working with what I have. First up was this ornament wreath I've been wanting to make ever since I came across this photo on flickr by pixiegenne. I still like hers more, but I think I made a fair approximation, especially for a first attempt.

Look Loretta!

2009-12-09T22:43:00.003-06:00

It's not much, but I put pen to paper. (Or digital stylus to tablet, as the case may be...)

Thanks for encouraging me. :)

stash

2009-12-05T11:06:00.004-06:00

~ Yes they are lovely she thought, but are there enough? ~

Isn't she lovely?

2009-12-03T13:47:00.003-06:00

We went home for Thanksgiving and had our first big family gathering in many years. Now that we've been stateside for a few months, I've stopped thinking of everything we do in terms of stateside vs abroad, but events like this stand out in such contrast because we weren't able to take part in the family gatherings for so long.

It struck me how special it was to be in the home where I grew up. Justin and I held Evelyn's hand as she walked around the cul-de-sac where I used to play with my brother and sister. The times we had back then...riding our bikes incessantly around that little concrete circle, imagining ourselves to be cops and robbers, wild animals, you name it. We used the curb as a balance beam to see if we could walk the perimeter of the street without touching the grass or road. So many happy childhood memories flooded back for me, and how special it was to be there again with my husband and daughter (and dog) and the rest of my family.

Even the air at night had that magical "Christmas smell," as I like to call it. Parking in that driveway, letting the dog out at night in that back yard, those trees, that back patio with its particular cracks and crooked benches my parents made so long ago--I soaked it all in and appreciated it in a way I don't think I ever have before.

My mother still has a good deal of my grandmother's things from after her death in 2006, and we took time to go through some of them together. There were pictures, photos, letters, figurines, a curious lockbox no one could open (I'm still dying to know what's in there...part of me hopes we can never get it open...) and it was cathartic for me to see my grandmother's things again. I came back from Germany in May of 2006, when her death seemed imminent, to have a final visit, but was unable to be there for her funeral that June. I was able to say my goodbyes, but I never have felt complete closure. I suppose it is just that way with loved ones who leave us.

Mixed in with these things we came across a set of class pictures of my mother from her school days. I asked her if I could scan them and share them and she said I could. Isn't she completely lovely? I must say my favorite pictures are the first (she tells of having just given herself a haircut secretly in the closet days before), and the last, when she looks so grown up and transformed at age 15. You really must click on the picture and then view it in it's original size on flickr by clicking the "all sizes" button.

Now I need to find my old class pictures as well. I swear I never looked as put together as she did!

Do you have tickets?

2009-11-19T12:25:00.007-06:00

detail from "Tickets to the Gun Show" Collage by Katrina Cristobal

Last weekend we took a trip up to Tulsa with friends to go to the Tulsa Arms Show. The photo above, sadly, was not from the show. Cameras were not allowed at the show, which was a real pity, as the place was PACKED with priceless photo opportunities. I can only recount for you tales of the Cape Buffalo hoof ashtray (I'm not kidding; it was going for $50), the Tactical Girls selling calendars (of themselves--scantily clad, but with firearms of course), and innumerable old-timey mustaches that would make Yosemite Sam green with envy.

I have to say that when we first arrived on the scene, I felt maybe more than a bit uncomfortable by the line of people waiting to enter with their rifles slung over their shoulders. Once on the inside the fairgounds, however, I think the sheer number of weapons saturated and short circuited my senses, and I have to say that I had a really enjoyable time at the show. There were, as mentioned, many funny and amusing sites to see, but also lots of very interesting historical displays and collector items that I found really fascinating. I also was tickled by the handful of jewelry displays strategically placed near the exits, as if to remind a gun-laden fellow that he might want to bring something special home for the little lady as well. Either a diamond ring or perhaps a semi-automatic pistol with pink mother of pearl grips.

Have I mentioned lately how much I'm enjoying Oklahoma? God bless America.

Sixteen months, three days ago.

2009-11-17T15:44:00.006-06:00

Dear Evelyn,

I'm going to be better. I did not write you a fourteen or fifteen month letter, and when I realized that Sunday was your 16 month marker I made up my mind to write you a letter this month. I figured I'd better catch up on where I left off, so I went back to read the last letter (13 months) and Evie, do you know what happened? I'm crying. I'm crying now, because you're growing up so fast. Right before my eyes, honey, and I'm amazed and proud and terrified. When last I wrote, you were not yet walking.

And now?

You are running.

You are dancing to theme songs.

You love to try on hats.

You help me to dress you.

You have a limited amount a patience (as opposed to none at all).

You "read" books by yourself.

You "talk" all the time.

You mimic things that we do.

You do movements along to the songs we sing.

You want to help me with everything I'm doing. Sometimes this is helpful and sometimes just "helpful."

You can open and operate a variety of cell phones. And flip car keys.

You give Chokydar kisses.

You have a favorite stuffed animal (the pound puppy that was mine as a child).

You LOVE drinking from "normal people" glasses.

You kiss yourself in mirrors.

You love carrying around pillows so as to have a convenient place to fall over laughing.

You have a love bordering on obsession with my grandmother's Huphrey Hug-a-bear that I know would bring her no end of joy.

You understand most instructions and we've started to discipline you in earnest.

You give koala bear hugs where you stick on our necks tighter than velcro.

You are a major problem solver.

You love opening and closing cabinets.

You also love hiding things in cabinets. This has led me to ask you where missing items might be, and you are 1) not only able to recognize the question but also 2) sometimes able to find the item. Evelyn, this is amazing.

You have empathy for Chokydar when she's worried or barking. You say "Uh oooooh!" when you drop something.

You light up our lives and bring us indescribable joy.

Love,

Momma

When you say medium, do you mean small or large?

2009-11-06T14:36:00.002-06:00

We have the amazing fortune to have a drive thru Starbucks here in town. We also have another little cafe style restaurant (similar to, although not quite as good as Panera) called Atlanta Bread Comapny. Well, when we were first settling in and without our cooking supplies, we frequented both of these establishments a bit more than...well, we'll just say 'normal' and leave it at that.

I've heard comedians do routines about Starbucks and their tall, grande, and venti versions of the standard small, medium, and large sizes. Personally I've never had a hard time keeping them straight, but low and behold, at Atlanta Bread their small is called short, their medium is called tall and their large is called grande. Okay, now this actually probably makes more sense than the system at Starbucks, but in reality what it does is get you a larger size than you intended. You go in wanting a small, order a tall out of habit and suddenly you have a medium. Confused yet? Wait for this...

So one day at the Chick-fil-a drive thru window a few weeks back while I was sick, I wanted a chocolate shake. The voice from the box asked what size I wanted. "Small, please," I replied, but then added, "well, what size is your small?" You know how different places have different size cups sometimes, right? This was her response:

"Oh, it's a small size cup."

Brilliant. Very informative and helpful. Being sick and guessing that was as good an answer as I was going to get, I just went with the mystery sized small and moved on.

Now today I was back at Chick-fil-a again (please, no judging...), this time to get the seasonally offered peppermint chocolate chip shake (oh. yes.) When I asked for a medium (I'm judging myself) the girl came back over the box and said that they only come in large or small. Really? Okay. She proceeds to follow that statement up with, "But the large comes in the medium size cup, so do you want that?" I was so confused that I just said "yes" and got a milkshake the size of a small cat.

So to sum up, small is either short or tall, medium is non-existent, tall or grande, and large is one of three: venti, grande, or a small cat.

mostly pictures...wait nevermind, I ramble too.

2009-11-03T09:30:00.003-06:00

I've got my (magical) desk assembled and was able to get my shiny new iMac put up. It. Is. Amazing. Things are slowly starting to find their way into drawers, shelves, and cabinets, clearing the floor for purposes like, you know, walking. It feels so good to have things begin to settle. There's still a long way to go, and I had the thought the other day about how I'm likely to get the last few things into place the week before the movers come again in the spring. Still, it makes for an exciting life.

If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I struggled a bit (sometimes a little more than a bit) with living in Germany. It's something that is difficult for me to admit, because in my mind there is this notion that it should have been an entirely magical experience, one that we would look back on longingly and cherish for all our days, eternally pining for schnitzel and driving our children crazy with stories of black forest cake and the Rhine. It just wasn't the case for me. It was a good experience--I don't regret living there, but it was limiting in many ways and isolating. I made a few treasured friends in Baumholder, ones I hope to keep always, but on the whole it was a very lonely time. I've always considered myself an introverted person, but in my own way I've always made connections with people of shared interests. Growing up I was involved in choir, in junior high there was band, high school had choir and theater, and LTC dominated my college years. Connections like those were practically non-existent in Germany.

When I found myself unhappy, I felt the fault must lie with me. If I couldn't manage to find excitement and happiness in magical Germany, it must me my problem, my failure. As we prepared for our move back to America and I looked forward to coming home after four long years abroad, I began to worry that my restless dissatisfaction with some aspects of my life there would follow me home.

I am so relieved to find that this has not been the case. Being back home has been everything I longed for. Closer to family, closer to friends, able to communicate, sure of what to expect and able to seek out options and opportunities--we've found Lawton (often not considered a glamour spot in the Army) to be fantastic. That deserves extra emphasis: fantastic. The sun shines, the sky is so huge and blue--it seems to stretch eternally. We're in our own (rented) little home instead of a cramped apartment. We've found a church and I've joined the choir there and already met some wonderful new people. I'm excited about opportunities to take classes again.

I really didn't anticipate sitting down to write a post today. I had these pictures we'd taken the other day of Justin and Evie and looking at the ones of them playing outside just filled me with such joy. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: It is good to be home.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T22:03:00.002-05:00

For a few months now Evie's nickname of the moment has been "B," so when I came across this fantastic costume I knew what she had to be this year. We went to three houses trick or treating this year--four including our own. Evie can say a version of "boo," although she would only say it to me as we walked between houses, and not to the neighbors. That's probably for the best, as that much cuteness might have been overwhelming for someone caught unprepared.

We drove three and a half hours down to Frisco, near Lake Dallas today, specifically to go to IKEA. I've been craving a desk they have, and it had begun to be kind of unhealthy how much I longed for it. After a failed attempt earlier this week to get down there, we finally made it and got the desk, although we came close to leaving without it.

If you've been to IKEA, you know how they have the warehouse section where you pick up furniture. Well, for whatever reason, this desk has to be picked up from a seperate area, after check out, in the "furniture pick up" area. NO clue why. I had to request a slip for it from the information guy in the regular warehouse section. I very clearly said that I wanted the Besta Burs desk in high gloss white. He confirmed the color and printed out my paper. I glanced at it fleetingly--the price matched, yada yada yada, okay off to the check out. We made our way over to the special furniture pick up area, turned in the paper and waited about 10 minutes for them to wheel out the boxes. We signed for them and rolled all our goodies out to the car.

Now this sounds like a fairly easy process, but let me tell you, after a 3.5 hr drive with a one year old, your stress level simply stays at an elevated level. We got out to the car to pack the boxes in--I'd measured from the dimensions given online to see if they'd fit in the Tiguan with the car seat there--supposedly they would. It was at this time that I looked more closely at the boxes that held my beloved desk. Oddly, the boxes had pictures of a tv stand on them--not a desk at all. Huh...that's weird I thought I wonder why they would put pictures of a tv stand on the box of a desk. When I pointed this out to Justin he looked at me blankly and suggested, "It's probably not the desk. It's probably a tv stand."

I guess I was in denial about this possibility because in my mind "DESK" and "TV STAND" do not sound very similar at all, and I wondered how the clerk in the warehouse could have misunderstood--we are afterall back in America, where I can speak English and get things I want. Sure enough, however, after carting the heavy thing back inside with my receipt, it was confirmed that the boxes marked "tv stand" were in fact, a tv stand and not a desk. I am sooooooooooo glad that we caught this in the parking lot and not back at home, after a 7 hour roundtrip journey, nay, quest to get this desk.

The house is still a mess--slightly more put together than an explosion, but I'm making small progress daily. I hope to have pictures to share soon.

Settling In and A Parental Rite of Passage

2009-10-16T12:40:00.004-05:00

I'm sure as the years go by I'll get a little better at this moving thing. Right now the process is not very streamlined.

We have received both of our shipments now--the first being the unaccompanied baggage shipment, the stuff we'd hung onto the longest in Germany. It included things like a few pots and pans, Evie's crib and swing, toys, sheets, curtains, tools, and clothes. It also, unfortunately was pretty severely damaged in transit. Many of the boxes had gotten really wet and/or were crushed. Evie's crib was molded, as were a bunch of Justin's army gear, papers, and more than a few other things. Thankfully, some of the things survived, and in the end it's just stuff anyway. We'll have to file a claim for damages...joy.

The other shipment arrived a day earlier than we'd expected, on Columbus Day rather than the 13th. The moving crew was eager to be GONE, and didn't do the best job unpacking. As I better learn the way this sort of thing works I'm sure I'll be more assertive in making sure they do things the way they're supposed to. This time was definitely another learning experience.

As we've unpacked, we've noticed a few things appear to be missing. Firstly, our silverware. I chose Gorham's Golden Ribbon Edge for our pattern and we've loved it. I don't know if we have a missing box, if it's hidden somewhere among Christmas decorations or books in a mislabeled box, or if it was, as they say, ganked. I'm bummed about that though. There's a handful of other things that we haven't found yet, including the power cord for the TV. The TV arrived no problem, but it's sort of hard to use if you can't turn it on...I contacted Panasonic, but they don't seem to have replacement parts for our model. Ha. Ha.

This Wednesday we were excited to welcome a house guest into the midst of our cardboard jungle, Justin's friend Eric. They've been alternating shifts in Iraq for the last four/five years. Erc's on leave during his third tour and Justin's done two. We haven't gotten to see him since 2004, so it was a long overdue and anticipated visit. He arrived Wednesday night right before we put Evie to bed and we settled down to visit after she was snuggly asleep.

About an hour and a half after she went down, everyone froze as we thought we heard her stir. Justin went in to lull her back to sleep, as is the routine, but after a moment he called to me, and I knew something was up. As I went down the hall I heard her cough, and it didn't sound good. She'd been completely normal during the day; not so much as a runny nose, so this was completely out of the blue. She was raspy and had a terrible gutteral cough that sounded kind of like a goose. She both wanted to be held, but struggled against me as if in pain. She didn't feel feverish, but it was clear something was wrong.

I called my mother to see if she knew what was up, but she couldn't be sure over the phone what was up and advised us to go with our gut about whether or not she needed to be seen. On other nights (when she's fallen, for instance), we've opted against taking her in, but that night we thought we'd better go on into the ER, just in case. As we readied her to go, she threw up and which was a first for her too.

We arrived about 12:30 am and got checked in and immediately were seen to have her vitals taken and figure out what the symptoms were. After that we were told to have a seat in the waitinig area, where there were at least a half dozen people ahead of us waiting to be seen. Around the room there were signs posted stating that for non-urgent cases, you could expect to wait perhaps 3-4 hours to be seen, and in some cases up to 8 hours. I overheard someone across the room grumble about having been there since 10:30 pm and I began to get nervous. The night air and car ride had soothed Evie, and she was feeling curious about her new surroundings. Still, she was exhausted and not feeling her best, and I knew it was a matter of time before we hit serious Disintegration Mode.

As the time passed and little progress was made to see those in line before us, I began to feel a little desperate. She needed to be seen, even though it didn't appear that she was critically ill, but I worried we were doing more harm that good to have her out of bed for hours on end in the middle of the night. With no end in sight, it was a very horrible and helpless feeling to rock the little ball of hurt and know there just wasn't anything to be done but wait.

It felt like forwever, but we were seen after waiting for an hour and a half. The doctor examined her--by this time, whether due to a second wind or the excitement of a new place, she was all smiles and joy. We totally felt like idiots, like when you bring your car into the mechanic because it's been sounding like it's about to explode only suddenly, upon examination, it purrs like a kitten. He checked her over thoroughly though and pronounced that she has a case of croup. (I'd like to advise whoever is in charge of naming things to come up with a different name for this infection, because "CROUP" sounds AWFUL.) From what we've observed, her case is fairly mild, thank goodness, although the doc said it can last up to 2 weeks. Thankfully, Justin's class hasn't yet begun, so if we're in for a lot of sleepless nights, at least we can cover eachother for naps during the day.

It was a relief to have a diagnosis and course of action that night for sure. It's also a blessing to have good friends like Eric, who don't so much as blink when you rush to the emergency room three hours after welcoming them into the house, leaving them alone with a crazy Hugarian as company.

Last night Evie slept just fine, although she has been definitely feeling under the weather.

Chokydar is still getting used to Eric.

Cockadoodledoo

2009-10-11T18:44:00.002-05:00

Hahahaha I have to share this video...I was searching for a childrens' song my sister had introduced us to while in Houston--it had a rooster and a character named Stingyman and his son Tightwad, but alas I could not find it. I did however find this clip. I was amused. I hope you are as well.

Let me e'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

2009-09-13T16:41:00.003-05:00

I haven't had a chance to sit down at a computer for more than 10 minutes now for nearly a month, so please forgive me for the long absence! There is too much that has happened to capture, but I will try to give you a highlight reel:

The flight back home had some memorable moments--including 1) the moment when we thought we'd forgotten the bolts to secure Chokydar's kennel for the flight after having to split it in half to fit in the rental car; they were in Justin's pocket after all. WHEW. 2)A Chuck Norris look alike who played peek a boo with Evie on the flight for at least 10 minutes 3)the realization that Evie's "sleepy noises," a guttural grunt "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungh" which we know and love is, in fact, annoying to some fellow passengers 4)getting 9 hours in to the flight and resorting to choreographing "Surrey With the Fringe on the Top" from Oklahoma for Evelyn's entertainment.

All in all, it was as good of a trip as we could have expected. Upon landing, we creeped everyone out by how happy we were by completely mundane things. "Oh look! ENGLISH!...traffic signs...etc, etc."

We flew into Dallas, rented a car and drove to Houston the next day to visit family. We went to church at St. Paul's on Sunday and bought our new car, a 2009 Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. I'd done TONS of research and we had such a pleasant car buying experience, it kind of unnerved me. Ours is silver with black cloth and the panoramic sunroof. I couldn't be happier with it so far!

We did lots of visiting and a good deal of window shopping in Houston. We made it to the zoo and the terracotta figure exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science. And we ate a LOT of good food...Starbucks, Panera, Le Peep, Ruggles, Coldstone, Chick-fil-a, Saltgrass Steakhouse, BJ's Brewery, Outback, Blue Bell ice cream, and Brown Sugar's BBQ just to name a few. Now we are fat and making our recovery.

We got to visit with some good friends, including the beautiful Jennifer Gilbert, and The Boy and family. SOOO good to spend time together!!

We drove up to Oklahoma on Wednesday--the 8+ hour drive was maybe even more exhausting than our transatlantic flight. We left around 6:30 am from Houston and didn't arrive in Lawton until nearly 4 pm.

We're in guest housing now (aka a rather crummy hotel), but it does have a (barely) passable kitchenette, so at least we've been able to start weaning ourselves from fast food. We're hunting for a home to rent now, and have a likely prospect that we hope to secure in the coming days.

I can't get over how excited I am to be back in America, how overjoyed I am by little pleasures, seeing family and friends, and by having a drive-thru Starbucks that's new in Lawton since the last time we were here.

Life is so good.

I have this little problem. Did I mention I have this problem?

2009-09-05T13:37:00.002-05:00

It's crazy to me that it's been two weeks since I've posted anything. It's been one of those time paradox things lately where time seems to both drag on forever and fly by. We've been both crazy busy and bored out of our minds. With just the government furniture and what we're carrying with us, it's been a task to try and occupy Evelyn and maintain her usual routine. We've been taking a lot of walks.

A LOT.

The other day I was walking down to the dental clinic to put in a request for my records and one of the orange housing repair trucks drove up to the curb and stopped. The driver got out to go about his business, but not before drawing up short and looking at me, "You are always walking! I see you walking everywhere all the time!"

Our car has shipped now, so it's in part out of necessity. Walking is also often necessary to get Evie to take a nap. She'll fall asleep in the stroller when she simply refuses to in the travel crib. She never has a problem (KNOCK ON WOOD) going to sleep in the crib at night, but during the day, she fights it tooth and nail and will not submit. It makes for a pretty miserable situation for all involved, so when things get too cranky, we just go for a walk. Chokydar is loving it.

I keep thinking of all of these "I can't wait until..."s. I can't wait until we clear housing (Tuesday). I can't wait until we're on the plane (Friday). I can't wait until we're in Houston (Saturday). I can't wait until we get our cell phones, buy our car, get to Oklahoma, find a place to live...the list is kind of endless. Lately, I've begun to get a little sick of myself.

I've been looking forward to this move for MONTHS now. Maybe even years, really. In the past, it's been a low level buzz in my consciousness, always in the far background of my mind. Since about July though, it's been more like rock music (or Broadway showtunes in my case) playing loud and clear, pretty much dominating my every waking thought, and I'm officially tired of it.

There have been so many things to do, so many details to take care of, it's been a kind of dream and nightmare for someone who's pretty detail and planning obsessed as I am. It's fun to see everything coming together, but it's also incredibly nerve racking to ensure that things go off without a hitch. I imagine all the worst case scenarios and worry about them to no end. What if our appointment/reservation at "x" wasn't written down properly on their books and we show up and they have no room for us?? What if I accidentally packed something essential? What if Evie gets sick or hurt? What if we get to the airport and they refuse to let Chokydar fly? It isn't helpful and it isn't productive. And it's downright annoying.

I caught myself the other day repeating the same thing to Justin for the third time in a row. Okay, maybe not in a row...I probably threw in a random sentence every other line to make it seem like I wasn't harping on the same worry over and over again. I could tell by his exasperated but loving expression that I was starting to grate on his nerves, and suddenly I realized I was grating on my own nerves. I told him, "I'm going to try and stop repeating myself. I'm doing it all the time and it's beginning to get really old. I know it's just because I'm stressed and worried but I just keep saying the same things over and over and so" [pause] "So I going to try and stop...repeating...myself...OH CRAP I'M DOING IT AGAIN!"

It's been an exciting few months, but I'm ready to be settled. I'm ready to pick up my "real" life again, to get back into my drawing and crafts, to cook real food, to run errands, to visit with friends and family, to grow and begin a new chapter.

And apropos of nothing, here are some great videos of Evie--one of her playing with Chokydar and one where she tries to mail herself to Abu Dhabi. Enjoy!

Almost there...

2009-08-22T04:52:00.003-05:00

We're making progress on a lot of fronts here lately. We're less than 20 days out from our flight back to the states now, I'm up to 13x13 rows on my blanket and, most exciting of all, Evie has taken one or two steps on her own!

Check out the video with Evie almost walking!! She is so close now! We flipped out the other day when she took two tiny steps hands free to get from the coffee table to the travel crib. She doesn't make an attempt all the time, but I just know it's coming soon...

I've decided to add two more columns and maybe 4-6 more rows on the blanket, although I think that will make it larger than most throws. I am a sucker for oversized blankets, though, and I figure I can make another--perhaps in fancier yarn--that is more "normal" sized.

The second move date is this coming Thursday, and I'd love to finish the blanket by then, althoguh there's no practical reason why it would ship better finished rather than incomplete. I'll still have remaining yarn either way; I already have ideas on what to do next.

I've been treading water, so to speak, in so many ways the last few weeks, having to wait on many of the things that are left to do before leaving. I've been cleaning around the apartment, but all the major cleaning needs to wait until closer to our clear date, otherwise I'll just need to do it all again. I'm anxious to get more information about buying our car--I contacted Houston VW dealerships back in July to get preliminary info, but now I'm waiting for the end of August to see what deals and incentives will be available in September for us. All exciting things. All teaching me patience. Or at least making me wait.

Thirteen months old (yesterday)

2009-08-16T15:45:00.004-05:00

Bumblelamb,

Yesterday you became thirteen months old. I know you can’t count quite yet, but when you get older and look back over these posts you’ll realize we’ve encountered a problem. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, thirteen. That’s right. I’ve dutifully been writing these love letters to you monthly--every thirty some-odd days since you arrived on the scene--only last month for the big ONE, I didn’t do it. I could blame it on the move, on crazy schedules and busy times; saying goodbye to friends, on packing and preparations, but if I’m being honest with myself and you, it’s because I’m having a bit of a hard time coming to grips with you growing up.

You’re not yet walking (although you’re sooooo close), but to me, I think you’re already a toddler rather than a baby. Every time I say this your father responds with, “No! She’s still a baby!” I think you always will be to him, just fyi. You’re still making leaps and bounds with your motor skills—gross and fine, you’re babbling to anyone who will listen or sometimes to no one at all, you are quite the problem solver and have a great sense of humor. Your father or I will call out excitedly, “Did you see that??” when you do something amazing, like stand on your own and balance unassisted for half a minute or so. But there’s some X factor that’s taking place, Lamby, and you’re metamorphosing in front of my very eyes.

You’re down to two nursings a day now, and I think you’re about to go down to one, as we’ll probably eliminate the morning session any time now. You’re trying new foods and sampling off of our plates as well. I can’t wait to get back to the states to see what new things we can experiment with. You’ve been resisting your morning nap in favor of a single afternoon nap as well. You love to play on the floor with your daddy or “run away” down the hall and have us chase after you. You’re very graceful, but when you fall, you fall spectacularly. In all honesty, it scares the bejeebies out of me every time it happens. You face plant after a false step and go from all smiles to wails of pain and fear. Before I can even assess the state of your busted lip you’re squirming out of my lap, eager to go knock yourself silly again.

It’s really clear now that you can understand a good deal of what I’m saying—if not word for word, than certainly the intent or tone comes through. You respond to simple commands or questions with an inquisitive look, smile, or pout. You have a “new face” that is something akin to a wide eyed, teeth bared (you have four now, btw—teeth, that is) grimace that is used when you are surprised, taken aback by something, or are unsure. Chokydar brings about this look a lot. I’ve got to get a picture of it, because it is totally priceless. You can sometimes handle “no” without much ado, but other times it can send you into a complete fit, stomping feet and all.

You’re liberal with your kisses, and are, on occasion, a biter. You like playing with my yarn. You love “reading.” You prefer the letters “O,” “Q,” and “B,” and “D.” You rock out to hip hop, oldies, and Motown. You point your toes like a ballet dancer and like to brush your teeth with Baby Orajel.

This time next month, we’ll be in America. There are so many things I want to show you, I don’t even know where to start. I know that you won’t remember your time here in Germany, but it has been a happy time, for the most part, and you have been such a source of joy for us in this past year.

I love you. I can’t say it enough.

Love,

Mommy

A short list.

2009-08-16T14:31:00.006-05:00

These have been my favorite words here:

1. Schneeman ("snowman")
2. Bodenschwellen ("speed bumps")
3. Glan Münchweiler (proper noun, a town nearby)
4. Niedermohr (proper noun, another nearby town, meaning "low moor") --I like saying this one followed by an evil cackle: NEE-DER-MORE!!! MUAH AH AH AH!!!

and probably my most used phrase:

5. Ich spreche nur ein bisschen Deutsch. (I speak only a little German.)

Walking through the windmills

2009-08-15T15:49:00.005-05:00

Speaking purely of the weather, today was perhaps the most beautiful day I've experienced here in Baumholder over the past (nearly) four years. It was not only sunny, but cloudless and the colors seemed brighter, more vibrant. Ever since stumbling across a user map on Google for a path through the windmills outside town I've been itching to go walk up there. It's easy to have reasons "not to go" in Baumholder--usually involving the weather, so when today was just about completely perfect, we hopped in the car and drove up to the path.

It's maybe slightly possible I'm feeling slightly sentimental about our leaving here. Don't get me wrong--I can't wait--but for all of the valleys we experienced here, it also has been a good time, and I don't regret the choice we made when we decided to come to Germany.

With some free time on our hands and not a lot of things around the house to distract, I've been working out a lot more lately. Today on our walk I had too much energy to just keep walking, so I traded Justin the stroller for the leash and took off with Choky down the path. Evie started to get concerned that I was running away, so I doubled back, which she thought was hilarious. After a time or two of this game--run away for 50 meters or so, sprint back--I could have stopped, but then Justin began spurring me on, so for about 20 minutes of the return "walk" I ran up and down hill with Chokydar.

Choky was having the time of her life, although it was clear from the run that she's a touch out of shape. She ventured into the weeds at one point and came out covered in burrs, which stuck to her fur like glue. Evie watched in awe as Justin picked them out, one by one before we got back in the car to come home.

It was a good day.

IF: Impatient

2009-08-11T15:49:00.003-05:00

It's been forever since I've posted a drawing to Illustration Friday, but when I saw this week's word, "Impatient," I knew I had to do something. I am the definition of impatient lately. After nearly four years of not setting foot in my home land, we're getting ready to move back to the states. Our stuff is packed, save a few essentials (i.e. Evie's swing, travel crib, our laptops, etc.) and I'm just itching to go. We have about a month left to go until we fly and I'm having a really hard time waiting...

Leo Babauta on Creativity

2009-08-06T07:39:00.003-05:00

Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has great life hacker tips on tons of things, from organization to creativity, and I enjoyed this list so much, I wanted to share it. Here are his top tips for creativity:

Play.
Don’t consume and create at the same time — separate the processes.
Shut out the outside world.
Reflect on your life and work daily.
Look for inspiration all around you, in the smallest places.
Start small.
Just get it out, no matter how crappy that first draft.
Don’t try for perfect. Just get it out there, asap, and get feedback.
Constantly make it better.
Ignore the naysayers.
But let criticism help you grow.
Teach and you’ll learn.
Shake things up, see things in new ways.
Apply things in other fields to your field, in ways not done before.
Drink ridiculous amounts of coffee.
Write all ideas down immediately.
Turn your work into play.
Play with kids.
Get out, move, see new things, talk to new people.
Read wildly different things. Especially stuff you disagree with.
Get lots of rest. Overwork kills creativity.
Don’t force it. Relax, play, it will start to flow.
Allow your mind to wander. Allow distractions, when you’re looking for inspiration.
Then shut them off when you’re going to create.
Do it when you’re excited.
When you’re not, find something else to be excited about.
Don’t be afraid to be stupid and silly.
Small ideas are good. You don’t need to change the world — just change one thing.
When something is killing your creativity, kill it.
Stop reading creativity advice, clear away everything, and just create.
Most of all, have fun doing it.

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before
breakfast.” - Lewis Carroll

Inspiration strikes

2009-08-05T05:47:00.003-05:00

I found this amazing living room, styled by Sasa Antic, via Oh Joy! and it brought my entire (current) design aestheic into focus. I've been loving the simplicity of Scandanavian design--white washed with bright bursts of color, but we also have a good deal of black furniture that I love and I've been struggling with how to incorporate that well in our new place.

I've also been head over heels for midcentury design lately, especially the Cherner Arm Chair:

I looooooooooooove this chair. Elementary school children could sing songs about me and this chair sitting in a tree, and I'd just be cool with it. It comes in many finishes, but my favorite is the classic walnut. I really love how in the Sasa Antic living room she incorporates white, black, and wood finish so easily. You would think, "Ah, just mix and match!" but somehow it's not that easy! Designers somehow put it all together and it looks eccletic and chic. If it's done incorrectly it just looks like you couldn't make up your mind.

I think I've settled (for now) on a table and chairs. What do you think? I'm planning to get 1 Cherner chair and 5 Jake chairs. Or maybe 4 Jake chairs and hold off to find another arm chair to accompany the Cherner.

I have no idea whether or not we'll have carpet in our next home(s), but I can't help admiring these regardless:

Oh, and art of course. Here are some of my latest favorites:

Never good enough

2009-08-03T14:55:00.003-05:00

I came across this article on Unclutterer, You don't have to be the best and wanted to link to it. I know for me, I often feel very alone in my flaws and shortcomings. It's easy to look around at others and be completely frustrated and demoralized by people that "do everything" or seem to navigate life effortlessly. The funny thing is, though, I think most people feel the same way I do--struggling to balance competing aspects of life, attempting to keep up appearances for others' sake as well as for our own.

As a child I was exceptionally blessed in most of my endeavors. I succeeded maybe more often than was good for me, and somewhere along the way, I began to fear failure and rejection in a way that became a bit paralyzing. It's a problem I have with my art--I don't want to sketch, I was to produce a masterpiece on the first attempt. I am so frustrated by my (completely natural) inability to produce perfection on the first try, I have difficulty putting pencil to paper (or stylus to tablet, as sometimes the case may be), I'm still working on this, and I'm always amused and relieved to hear of this problem being shared by others. Just who exactly are we trying to prove ourselves to?

I'm reminded of this as we prepare to make the move to a new place as well. I think very often people share social anxieties that feed off of one another. You meet a new person--they're a little nervous to meet you, you're really nervous to meet them. If you're both waiting for the other person to take the first step, you both walk away feeling that the other person is cold or unfriendly, when really, you may have just both been hoping the other person would do the honor of breaking the ice.

Anyway, it's something I've been thinking on lately--embracing myself, flaws and all, and being proud of my strengths as well (I sometimes have the tendency to diminish them to the point of degrading myself). It's a bit fun to get to try and renew yourself with a fresh group of people. You have another chance at making a first impression, and just maybe you can manage to improve, without worrying about being the best.

One Big Step Closer

2009-08-01T13:27:00.003-05:00

For weeks now we've been making preparations for our move back to the states. This week, however, was a frenzied hurricane of activity as we got ready for most of our belongings to be packed and moved. You would think how complicated could it be? as we don't actually have to pack or move anything ourselves, and I'm sure for some (less anal) people, it may not be such an event. I figure the more organized we can be on this end, the smoother the packing will go, and likewise, the easier the unpacking will be on the other side.

When Thursday rolled around this week I could be found running around the house, making piles of our possessions based on room or function, or whatever other wacky way of classification that makes sense only to me. Things needed to be sorted into two very broad categories: staying or going. We have two packing dates, and the bulk of our items, including all major pieces of furniture were required to go this week. Our next pack date will be at the end of August, about a week and a half before we go ourselves, and at that time, all we'll be left with is what we'll carry with us on the plane. As I decided what things were necessary to our existence and pared things down to a reasonably small group of objects, I couldn't help but wonder how many of our belongings we could do without altogether. The task of disassembling, sorting, and grouping things was especially arduous because Evie was either napping (requiring QUIET organization) or wanting to "help," which, while very cute, isn't actually that helpful. She was very amused by the feather duster in particular.

The morning of the move, she and I were up and making final preparations by 6am. She then took a nap before they arrived around 8:30am. I did not nap. I paced around muttering to myself, unplugging appliances, making coffee for the packers. We had an especially fun moment that morning when Justin attempted to secure the front door behind him on his way out to pick up breakfast for everyone and the key snapped off in the lock.

This looks organized to you, right? Yeah...

We marked Evie's room as off-limits to the movers and filled it with everything that wasn't going with this shipment. It was filled with everything from tools to cleaning supplies to things to be mailed, clothes, things to be donated or sold, Chokydar's toys and kennel, diapering supplies, books, luggage...you get the idea.

The bathroom too was off-limits. We are not able to send any liquids, including lotion, perfume, detergent or cleaning supplies, so all of that was sent to stay in the bathroom. Oh, and a giant basket of laundry I hadn't gotten around to doing.

The packers were really quick about their work and did a good job. Thankfully the weather cooperated as well. Come lunch time everyone took a break and Justin went out to get lunch for everyone. When asked what they'd like (pizza, fried chicken, deli sandwiches, Taco Bell...) the movers responded excitedly "Taco Bell!" That amuses me rather a lot for some reason.

Originally we had scheduled the movers to come on Thursday and then to have the government owned furniture (the same stuff we had when we first got here--affectionately deemed the "Barney syphilis couches" because of their awful spotty purple upholstery) brought in on Friday, but the movers had to push back our date to Friday, which bumped our furniture delivery to Monday. This weekend then we're making due with impromtu horizontal surfaces on which to eat (i.e. boxes) and have two folding chairs in which to sit. To closer watch Evie while she played, I moved to the floor while I was messing on the computer. She proceeded to crawl over and create a new game--Mommy Is A Pony. She straddled the small of my back as I lay on the ground and giggled insanely as I called for help. Justin instead went for the camera. ;)

That's all for now. The typing is echoing in our cave of a place now and it's time for bed! It's been an exciting and exhausting couple of days, and more than ever it's hitting home that the move is real and that we're finally on our way.

Tooth Fairy Bags from the Purl Bee

2009-07-27T05:09:00.003-05:00

Evelyn has been two-toothed now for a few months, but until today there hasn't been any sign of more to come. Until today. I can see the makings of two more teeth, her top front ones getting ready to take center stage. Exciting!

As if in honor of this occurance, I came across this cute craft project idea on the Purl Bee today. It will be quite some time before we need these in our house, but I'll keep them in mind for the future! From Molly's Sketchbook, I give you The Purl Bee's Tooth Fairy Bags.

A long time coming...

2009-07-25T15:16:00.001-05:00

I'm going to try to start doing more of this again...

Trash Trash Treasure

2009-07-22T06:09:00.003-05:00

I'm cleaning house.

Not just in the normal way (I'm not very good at that anyway)--light dusting, wiping windows, that sort of thing...No, I'm cleaning. I'm getting rid of things that should have long gone (why do I still have makeup from highschool??) and things that were wishful thinking (a pair of skinny pants that will NEVER fit.

It's a process that's full of reflection. Stuff can say a lot about you--why you keep certain things, why it's hard to let other things go. I've found it's cathartic too. It's very freeing to clean out clutter that's been weighing on you, conciously or otherwise.

There are some things that I won't let go. Move after move, we'll keep carting them along, not because they're functional, or beautiful, or monetarily valuable, but because they're strings connecting my heart to the past. I just came across a box full of cards from our wedding. I'm usually not a pack rat in this way, but for some reason (maybe because that was a hectic busy time right before a move too) I kept ALL of the cards that were given to us for our wedding. Some are just signed with a name, others have a line or two of well-wishes, and still others make my eyes water to this day because of the heartfelt message sent by our loved ones.

It's easy sometimes to get caught up in the day-to-day; in minor (or major) stresses, frustrations, and anxieties. It's been an isolating time these past 3.5 years in Germany. I can't say we've made tons of close friends--but we have made some that will last a lifetime. I'm not sure how I've grown or changed, but I know that I have.

Thank you, to all of the special people in my life who've taken time to make me feel special. I'm thinking about you today and hope somehow you can tell.

To sit and eat

2009-07-20T15:05:00.002-05:00

Playing Catch Up

2009-07-19T04:48:00.002-05:00

I hope you were ready for a BUNCH of pictures. :)

I'm trying to play catch up yet again...I have stuff to post still on our trip to Belgium, and things to post about my birthday yesterday, but first things first: Evie's first birthday.

I've never been much of a partier and thus it wasn't natural for me to pull together a big shin-dig for Evie's first birthday. I started sweating the cake a few days ago, and bought some gum drops and icing and a strawberry cake mix, not having any clue what I was going to make. I think it turned out pretty nice. We listened to oldies, had the Blythes over, ate cake, and opened presents. Evie knew it was a special day and was in a great mood all day long. She enjoyed "eating" her cake (I'm still picking out bits of pink from Chokydar's fur, who was eagerly awaiting a taste under E's chair) and loved her new toys (Vanessa, the airplane is a HUGE hit!)

I'm behind on her 12 month letter too...I'm still digesting the fact that she's a year old.

She's One Today!

2009-07-15T15:35:00.002-05:00

What a wonderful day! Evelyn had a ball today expermenting with cake, opening presents, and playing with her new toys and books.

More pictures and stories to come. For now, I'm off to bed!

Sharing Again...

2009-07-14T02:33:00.002-05:00

Evie woke up yesterday from her post-shot nap feeling fabulous. I'm not kidding. She's all smiles and sunshine, all yesterday evening and through this morning. Amazing. Perhaps I should inject her with weakened live-viruses more often... (just kidding)

This morning while she was napping I was perusing babble.com and came across some thought provoking articles--too many to share, actually (but check out this one if you've got the time!). Through link clicking, however, I ended up at the personal blog of one of their contributors, The Happiest Mom. For all of you children-having-types, check it out for sure. That link is for an article entitled "WOHMs, WAHMs, SAHMs: who wins the “unhappiest” award?" and it hits home a topic that I've been mulling around for quite some time now--the fact that what is right for YOU, isn't right for EVERYONE and that simply because it's right for YOU doesn't make it better.

This thought, of course, doesn't just apply to parenting, but to just about aspect of life. I can't stand fish or ketchup, but I recognize that there's nothing fundamentally wrong about either. For many people, hanging out at the bar is their idea of a good time--I can think of few things I'd less like to do.

It's been an adjustment living in an Army community. Always before in my life I'd naturally gravitated to people with shared interests. Inevitably they understood me, because they were like-minded. In this community it's been something of a different story. I'm something of an oddball here--from my views on feminism to parenting to the way I enjoy spending my free time. I feel confident about what I believe until I'm face to face with someone looking at me with a distressed and pitying expression as I answer the "What have you been up to lately?" question. My idea of a good time is not theirs, and they worry for me, which I guess in a way is sweet. The only thing is, I feel the same baffled confusion over how they chose to spend their time, but I'm so in the minority I lose by default.

Of course the really incidious thing is that there are certain choices that probably are better than others. I think we all worry to some extent about the choices we make--as a parent, financially, spiritually, personally, etc. We seek to compare our choices with those around us, not out of some petty quest to put the other person in their place, but rather to gain a personal validation of the decision we've made and are hoping is the right choice.

Wow, all that before 10 am.

You can shoot her up, but you can't keep her down.

2009-07-13T10:14:00.002-05:00

My poor baby. She had her one year well-visit today and received FIVE shots. Three in one tiny leg, and two in the other. I'm not going to go down the vaccination debate path (we've chosen to follow the prescribed schedule as reccomended by our doctors) but it does seem cruel to give such a tiny person so many shots all at once.

She really handled the whole experience like a pro. Actually, I think I cried before she did. I had an embarassing Michele-breaks-down-in-public-after-VERY-little-provocation moment. I undressed E for the customary weigh in and measurement and (very understandably in my mind) she began to cry as I lay her on the exam table. It's a scary thing to be stripped naked and laid under florescent lights on crinkle paper! I don't blame her in the least for losing her cool, but the tech/nurse guy (whatever) looks over his shoulder and says to me, "She doesn't spend much time away from you, does she?" with a (perhaps imagined) hint of judgement in his voice.

"Why do you say that?" I shot back.

"Oh, just because she reacts that way." he replied.

And then I was all upset. When will I stop being so sensitive about the offhand comments of complete strangers? So what if I'm her primary care giver? So what if she finds comfort in me? It's a perfectly normal and natural phase that children go through at this time in their lives to be clingy (hello, separation anxiety?). And of course then it doesn't help that he takes her measurements and after going to record them on the chart looks concerned then comes back with the tape measure to measure her head circumference once more.

"It's nothing to be worried about," he says, looking worried. "I just wanted to double check I had it right." In addition to having an apparently big head (above 95th percentile), E weighs in the 15th percentile and measures in the 25th.

When we saw our doctor, I kept it together until he asked me if I had any concerns. I started welling up a bit (HOW embarassing--go ahead, try looking not hysterical and obsessive as you cry while complaining about being made out to be overbearing and hyperprotective) as I explained the tactlessness of the nurse-man. Our doctor was very comforting and said that the nurses aren't pediactric nurses, so any observations they make are based on their own personal opinions. He went on to say that Evie's big head, in his opinion, indicates high intelligence, and that her measurements and weight are well within healthy range and that he much prefers to see children on the low end rather than the high, as is so often the case in America these days. He said she's looking fantastic and was amused (and a bit disgusted) by the carrot-baby story at the Krankenhaus. (One of the first things he said to me upon examining her was, "This orangish coloration is perfectly normal and comes from carrots. Do not worry about it.")

After the exam and FIVE shots, we also needed to go have her finger pricked so that routine bloodwork could be done. Evie was fine through all of this, although she wanted to be carried rather than put in her stroller. (All the while I'm thinking sarcastically in my head, "She doesn't spend much time away from you, does she?") After this we headed back to the car. By this point Evelyn has already ripped off the bandaid on her recently punctured finger, and after I got her settled in her carseat began work removing the FIVE bandaids on her little legs. I pulled over in the parking lot (I had already begun making for the exit) to take the bandaids from her so she wouldn't eat them. When I twisted back around in my seat, however, I discovered that my ID card (required to gain entrance on post) had fallen from where I had lodged it in my lapbelt and was nowhere to be found. Great. As I looked for it, Evie fell asleep in the back almost instantly and my anxiety increased as I imagined having to wake the baby to go through some ridiculous rigamarole in order to get on post if I couldn't find the darn ID.

It took me five minutes of crawling around on the floor board and looking in every possible crevice (of course I chose to wear a skirt today...) before I finally found it. Whew.

Evie woke when I carried her inside, but fell asleep almost instantly. She woke again when the phone rang, but again fell immediately back to sleep. She's still zonked (an hour an a half now...). Poor B.

New and (hopefully!) Improved!

2009-07-13T10:03:00.004-05:00

Things are happenin' around here and I've had this rehaul in the works for quite some time. It's been slow going on the blog lately, but I hope to begin posting more regularly once again. I am a re-arranger at heart, and I suppose revamping my blog is just another way of moving the furniture around.

To any of you guys who'd followed on the google follower link--I can't seem to get it reinstalled properly. If you'd still like to be a follower (that sounds weird to me...) please sign up using the networked blogs link instead! I think it's available for others outside of facebook too...

I have other updates and items I hope to include in the coming days, but for now, I'm just happy to have the new look operational. I hope you like it as much as I do!

It is nice to be needed. Now go to bed.

2009-07-12T15:42:00.004-05:00

The past few days Evie's been adjusting her schedule once again. She's been taking frequent but short naps during the day--maybe three, each only about 30 minutes long. She wakes from them still tired, but wanting to get up. Her appetite has increased and she's exploring new ways of climbing on things; just today she discovered how to step up backwards onto an 6 inch elevated surface while holding the side of her toy basket for balance support. She is so pleased with herself, I'm torn between sharing in her joy and wanting to bang my head against a door in frustration at the increasing number of ways she's finding to fall off of things.

For months now I've been enjoying a very privileged existence where Evie will nurse herself to sleep and then I simply lower her into the crib where she stretches out like a little lamb and is out like a light without another peep (please, don't hate me). I know how lucky this is. I am thankful for it EVERY NIGHT. The past few nights, however, she's nursed to sleep, but woken immediately upon meeting the surface of the mattress. She startles awake as if I've just thrown ice water on her, and is horrified at the fact that she's no longer in my arms. When she was a newborn if this sort of thing happened, you were, well...pretty much screwed. Now however, I've found that as long as I keep her lying down (sometimes easier said than done these days), I've got a chance at getting her to sleep.

As I stood there in the dark the other night, bent over double to reach her over the side of the crib, gently stroking her back and humming softly, it came to me that I've finally and fully arrived at a phase of motherhood which I have long been awaiting. Before I became a mother, I had this notion that the baby would immediately be calmed by the sight of me, by my sheer presence or the sound of my voice. I was in for a rude shock when Evie first arrived and my beautiful squalling little worm-baby could not be consoled by anything but a mouthful of boob. Now, many months ago Evie left behind her no-eye-contact, inconsolable phase and has gradually come to count on me for comfort in all the ways I had once imagined. For some reason, though, it hit home the other night as it had never done before.

There she was, sleepy, but not asleep, aware of my presence--needing my presence to feel safe and warm and fall asleep. I stroked her back and she lazily plopped her foot over and over again into the mattress. I quietly sang to her and she grasped my finger in her still tiny hand. After ten minutes of this, I (maybe more accurately my back) was painfully aware that she's not the only one getting older in the coming week, yet I also had a warm fuzzy feeling that came from the knowledge that I was able to be for her exactly what she needed me to be. She's getting older and won't always need me to help her fall asleep, but in the meantime, I'm here.

Right up my alley

2009-07-10T01:16:00.006-05:00

I may be way behind on discovering this, but I've just found this cool website, polyvore.com for creating collages from images and text around the web. It seems it is used primarily for fashion and interior design collages, but I can many other creative applications. It has a great user interface and a bookmark you can add to your link bar so that any image found on the web can be easily clipped while on that site for use in a collage. For years now I've kept clippings from magazines and websites, but have always struggled for the best way to organize them. I've printed them out and put the in page protected binders, I've created inspiration bulletin boards, I've archived them through my amazon.com wishlist and my tumblr or here on my blog.

The thing I like so much about polyvore is that you're able to quickly resize, rearrange, bring to the forefront or send to the back any image in the set. You can of course do this sort of thing in photoshop, but it takes more time as that's not photoshop's sole function, as in polyvore. Bighugelabs.com has a neat collage feature, but they automatically crop and scale images, and sometimes the result leaves something to be desired.

I'm already excited by the possibilities for this tool as a way of visualizing a set of items. Back in March, there was a sale at DWR that nearly made me lose my mind in a frenzy of I need a dining table RIGHT NOW. I know I am susceptible to the urgency of a limited time "good deal" and so I was able to regain my sanity before I acted rashly. I like to comparsion shop, and sometimes it's hard to get a good idea about your options unless you can see them side by side. For example, with the tables, viewing them next to one another makes it easy to find strengths and weaknesses--i.e. I like the legs on this one, but prefer this other color, etc. With polyvore I can add images of chairs too to mix and match potentials there as well.

As we get ready for our big move, part of the preparation has been in selling some of our old things to clean house and pare down our possesions. I don't want to drag around a bunch of stuff I don't love, even if I'm not the one physically doing the dragging. Doing this, I've realized how much my tastes have changed over the past 4 years. As a 22 year old, I had no idea what kind of things I would really use when setting up a wedding registry, and thus many things I thought we really needed, we haven't used at all. For instance, we registered for a beautiful pattern of fine china and have used it maybe on two occasions. It's a lovely pattern, but I'm not convinced it was the best choice for our needs. I assembled our living room here piece by piece with no real plan, and it shows. Now, I like an ecclectic style in design, but there are certain pieces and colors that mix and match better than others. The more I look at images, the more I learn, and I think I've finally internalized the fact that decorating is a process, not something I should expect to do all at once. Of course, Justin lovingly shakes his head at all of this--from the satisfaction I get from comparing tables to my fickle nature and the difficulty I sometimes have making decisions.

Anyway, all that is to say, I think that polyvore will be a useful tool to help me visualize and catalogue ideas. Feel free to weigh in on the things that I post, to help me see flaws in my logic or point out things you like too!

Here's my first quick mock up. So...we already have a bed. It's a sleigh bed we bought in Oklahoma for cheap after we were married and it's perfectly functional. It's totally fine. And I want a different one. I've told myself that after I work on getting things we really need (like a dining table), in a few years I can replace our bed with a new one. Lately I've been really into canopy beds, and these are a few I've really been taken by. Unfortunately, my favorite one (bottom center by Niermann Weeks) is sold only to "the trade," meaning designers, and the selling price to me would be in the range of $8,000. Yeah.....How do I always gravitate to the most expensive possible choice?

Happy Belated Independence Day!

2009-07-08T02:57:00.003-05:00

Happy belated Fourth! We spent Saturday with our Blythe buddies grilling and having homemade ice cream. It doesn't get much better than that. Evie was amused by all of the new things to explore at their home. We headed out the next day for a quick weekend getaway to Belgium--those pictures to come.

It's funny how being away, even for just one over night can make you appreciate home. We had a wonderful time on our trip, but it is so nice to be back. I know that the transition we're preparing for with this move will be fun and exciting, but I can't wait to get settled on the other side and re-establish a new place to call home.

Today I'm trying to play catch up with a few things I've let slide. Evie's schedule is still slightly off due to the travel disruptions, but she's happy at least, even if she won't nap. Her latest favorite activity is pulling my books of the shelf and persuing them at her leisure. I'm amazed that she has favorites--she finds the same half dozen books even when I rearrange them to try and throw her off. ;) Her taste is for:

1. Un, Deux, Trois: First French Rhymes

2. Hungarian: Verbs and Essentials of Grammar

3. MAYA: Professional Tips and Techniques

4. The Art of Drawing by Willy Pogany

5. Surrealist Art

6. American Architecture

7. The Art of Hokusai

and 8. Silent Witnesses: Early Cycladic Art of the Third Millennium BC

Who ya gonna call?

2009-07-03T01:19:00.004-05:00

Justin turned to me the other day and said, "If I'd have known the pain of this moment, I don't think I would have ever become a father." And we're just getting started, folks. I have a feeling the pain we've felt ain't nothin' yet.

The pain of which I speak was a result of seeing Evie in pain after she face-planted into the floor the other night. It didn't actually look like a bad spill. There have been tumbles that have looked catastophic only to have her giggle and carry on as if nothing happened. Other times, a seemingly small bump will turn the world upside down. It was right before bed the other night when she decided to taste the floor with her nose and from her screaming I knew it was one that needed comforting rather than the old, "Ah, you're okay, come on let's go!" When I picked her up and brushed her post-bath hair out of her face though, her little mouth was covered in blood and her upper lip had already begun to swell.

At moments like this I've discovered there's nothing more in the world that you want as a parent than to make it right. Stop the pain. Fix the hurt. Travel back in time and prevent it from ever happening. I would have given anything to have my lip busted in her place, and from the look of fear on Justin's face, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

Here's where it gets tricky as a first time parent. You don't know how bad is bad. Was this a bad enough bump that she needed medical attention? She was exhausted and ready for bed and the only real option available for medical care was to stick her in the car, bleeding and screaming and drive 30 minutes to the hospital emergency room. I tried calling the hospital, just to talk to someone who could reassure me that she was okay--that there wouldn't be anything they could do about this kind of injury anyway, but the number listed in our phone index was wrong (of course). Still needing reassurance and phone in hand, I dialed the next number almost automatically--home. My dad answered the phone, thrilled to have a surprise call, and then settled down into comfort mode when he heard our plight. He assured me of everything I was already thinking--that it didn't sound that bad, that the fact that she was acting normally once more, giggling and smiling was indication that she was fine. He recalled times my brother and sister and I were injured, from scrapes to stitches and sympathized at our feelings of helplessness as new parents experiencing it for the first time from the other side.

So we didn't take her to the emergency room, and she's just fine. She's not even fussy at meal times, as I feared she might be from pain in her mouth. I'm amazed at her resiliance and terrified by her brazen recklessness. She's more on the move than ever. She has no sense of "the edge" and Justin mused aloud the other day about whether she'd crawl right off the Grand Canyon without hesitation. She's standing for a few seconds on her own now, so I know walking must be not too far behind. She's also decided that sitting in the bathtub is for suckers. This has greatly complicated my life. By the end of bathtime, I'm nearly as wet as her from baby-wrestling.

I'd give them points for honesty.

2009-06-29T08:11:00.002-05:00

Fake customer service really cracks me up. Sometimes I wish they'd just fess up and admit they suck at doing whatever it is they're claiming to do. For instance, if you try to call the clinic for an appointment here, you'd better be prepared to wait 10 minutes on hold before ever talking to a real person--and that's on a good day. Sometimes they'll never answer at all. Are they on another line for half an hour straight? Out to lunch? Left work early? Who knows! But while you're waiting the horrible elevator music will occasionally be interrupted by a cheery recorded voice proclaiming, "Thank you for your patience! Your call is important to us; please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly." Personally I think I'd appreciate a little honesty in this circumstance. Maybe something like this...

"Thank you for holding. As if you have much of a choice."

"Your call is an annoyance to us. Please hang up now and save us both the trouble."

"While you're waiting, please feel free to calculate exactly how much this call is costing you."

My favorite is when you've been trying on and off all day to get through to the operator and make an appointment, only to have them FINALLY answer the line, and then they transfer you for a bogus reason to another line--which of course isn't answered, and suddenly you're right back where you began, dazed at how close you came to reaching your goal, only to have your hopes and dreams dashed.

I'm not bitter, though.

Just some shots

2009-06-26T05:43:00.002-05:00

They're maybe not the best pictures of all time, but it's getting harder and harder to catch her holding still. That's her these days, though--on the go. She's standing on her own for a few seconds now and she's really into dancing.

In which I want an iphone so bad I could burst...

2009-06-21T05:22:00.005-05:00

I can't believe that it's Sunday and that tomorrow is a week from when Evelyn turned 11 months. All week long I've been meaning to take her "official" month marker pictures, and have not done so. I've been busy, well, making busy work for myself mostly--obsessively planning things that are still too far out of my control to have any sway over (in this case, the PCS move), and yet still I plan. I research, I make excel spreadsheets (I'm not kidding), I organize my thoughts and print things out to put into page protectors and make little binders of crazy organization because it makes me feel like I'm doing something productive. In a way, it does end up being productive. I become really well informed about whatever it is that I'm obsessing about, but if I'm being honest, there's got to be a more streamlined, time-effective way of going about this all.

I've been meaning to post more lately, but I'm still soaking in all of this "having my husband living with me thing." It all seems totally normal now, but in a large part, this blog was a means to express myself in his absense. I came here to chronicle Evie moments for him to see or to chronicle ideas when I didn't have anyone else to act as a sounding board. In all of that I really found that I enjoy writing as an outlet, although I'm still horrified that I'll come back in a few years and cringe at all of the things I write about...that ALWAYS happens. But as trivial, mundane, eccentric, or silly as any of what I write about may be, it helps me to keep moving forward, to serve as another mechanism for organizing my thoughts and motivate me to do more, do better.

In the coming weeks, I'm bound to blabber on about our coming move. We're about 12 weeks out now from moving back to America and are starting to make concrete plans for shipping our belongings home, our travel arrangements, where to stay, what to buy, etc. It's now been over 3 years since I've set foot on American soil and as I make our preparations I've started to have this creeping feeling of apprehension...I think I may have a bit of culture shock upon returning to the states. Of course, I have researched this too:

Honeymoon Phase - During this period the differences between the old and
new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in
moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the
life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.
Negotiation Phase - After some time (usually weeks), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. One may long for food the way it is prepared in one's native country, may find the pace of life too fast or slow,
may find the people's habits annoying, disgusting, and irritating etc. This phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reason. Depression is not uncommon.
Adjustment Phase - Again, after some time (usually 6 – 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".
Reverse Culture Shock (a.k.a. Re-entry Shock) - Returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as described above. The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with than the original culture shock. (via Wikipedia, that most reliable of sources)

I love the little casual throw away addendums, "Depression is not uncommon" or about reverse culture shock being "more surprising and difficult to deal with." Sweet. ;) Oh, and I almost forgot--not only is this returning to America from Germany, it's returning to civilian land from army world. I never knew it was different until I crossed over. It's a happy and sad thing, but I'm not sure I quite fit in anymore.

But seriously, Justin and I were watching the previews on a borrowed DVD the other day and I was taken aback. Not only had I not heard of any of the movies (or some of the actors), but there were tons of cultural references being thrown around that simply flew over my head. And then there are the phenomenon I am aware of, but completely detached from--Twilight? Yeah, couldn't care less. Highschool Musical 3? 4? What are they on now? Sorry, I haven't watched television or most movies in over three years. I think there may be some catching up that is possible, but really, I'll just have to get used to having a pop cultural reference gap from the years 2005-2009. I missed those years. Sorry. Ask me something about schnitzel or Belgian beer.

And THEN, (and this is really another post in the making) I've started researching things we'll want to buy on our return to the states. We're going to be in the market for a car, cell phones, a dining table, a washer and dryer, etc. Tons of stuff. These are all normal purchases people in America make from time to time in their lives, but I am totally overwhelmed by all the new cool stuff that is out there. The iPhone?? So what if I haven't used a cell phone regularly since 2005, I need a phone that can voice recognize and answer my questions and has a built in digital compass for when I get lost in the woods. I have such gadget lust, it is hard to describe to you. I vascillate between being totally convinced that this phone will CHANGE MY LIFE to realizing I'm being seduced by the dark side. Not that there's anything wrong with the iPhone--not that I wouldn't love to have one...I'm just thinking it may be overkill to jump straight from training wheels to a corvette. I've been living a very laid back lifestyle over here, not so much by choice as by necessity, but it is what I've become used to.

Anyway, it's all stuff rattling around in my head. If any of you would like to give me product endorsements on things I really should look into getting, please by all means send them my way! ;)

Eleven months old today!!!

2009-06-15T14:21:00.000-05:00

Evie B,

This month’s primary nickname has emerged as “B” or “Evie B” or one of several other variations on the theme. “B” is multipurpose—is it for bumblebee? Baby? Beautiful? All of the above. Likewise B, you are developing many new faces, and I can’t soak up enough of you.

Your daddy is home. He came home on the 22nd of May and this is the first of your “birthdays” for which he is present. You and he have adjusted better than I could have dreamed to one another, and although you still prefer me for certain things (nobody does comforting like Momma), your eyes light up when you see your daddy of a morning. As I’m writing this letter to you I’ve just asked him if he can think of additional things about you he’s noticed that I should add—“Umm…just that she’s freakin’ AWESOME.” You cannot imagine how much he loves you. I think even he is surprised by it.

With so many friends now home, we’ve been doing more socializing than we were before, and you are such a trooper. (Nearly) Always polite, quiet, and bright eyed, you charm guests and enjoy watching the grown-ups interact and visit. The only difficulty is because you want to go until you drop; you’re an energizer bunny and it is very difficult to tear you away from the fun for some much needed rest. It’s been unchartered territory in many ways this month, adjusting to a New Old way of life. It is new and sometimes difficult and a bit frustrating at times, but I’ve never been happier in my entire life.

You are growing and learning so much every day. Your father has commented that you’ve gotten noticeably bigger even since he’s been home. You certainly are a handful these days. You are so close to walking now—pulling up is so easy it’s a joke to you now and you cruise from furniture to helping hands to boxes to Chokydar with such rapidity I know your first unassisted steps are near. You are daring in your exploration, and have managed some really impressive feats—using a box to climb on in order to get to things otherwise out of reach on the ottoman, for instance. You are such a clever girl and squeal with a glance over your shoulder, mischievous gleam in your eyes and a sweet smile on your lips when you are called out before doing something out of bounds. You smile and giggle, then turn to scoot off for something else of interest, most likely also out of bounds.

You’re babbling more and more these days, and “mama” and “dada” are frequently heard, if not particularly assigned to the proper parent. I have the very distinct impression, however, that you understand more of what I’m saying. Your facial expression changes not only in response to my tone, but also certain words. It’s incredible and has me suddenly very conscious of everything I say.

With your daddy home, I am now turning my attention to the coming months and the preparation for our return to the states. It promises to be a busy time, squeezing in some last travel opportunities, planning for a trans-Atlantic move, and saying goodbye to friends and the only home you’ve known. I am so grateful for your flexibility and easy going spirit—I think you will take the changes and excitement in stride.

I cannot believe that next month you will be a year old. The time is really slipping by now. I feel as though I blink and another week has been whisked away. We see babies out around post with their parents walking like newborn colts and know you are not far behind. The changes that will come in this next year are sure to happen so fast, it blows my mind.

Love,

Momma

Regrets, I Have a Few by Merrin Dungey

2009-06-14T05:22:00.003-05:00

I read this article in Parents magazine and got a real kick out of it. It's quite funny, I think mostly because I know exactly what she's talking about. For those of you who are sharing in this crazy trip of motherhood, I think you'll enjoy it too. I don't know if it will hit home with you "not-children-having" types, but if you feel like clicking through, by all means, do. If nothing else, it will provide you an opportunity to sigh and shake your head in an exasperated but amused way, "Oh, those people with babies. It can't be like they make it out to be..."

If in the future you then make the transition from being a "not-children-having type" to one of us, maybe you'll think back on this article, look it up in the archives and go, "OH!!!"

In the meantime, fill your houses with dangerously sharp objects, appreciate your body, take a leisurely shower and a ridiculously long time getting ready in the morning, and sleep in until 10 am for me. Or even 8. Gee, I'd even kill for 7:30...

Still, I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Not pictures of Evelyn

2009-06-11T15:04:00.006-05:00

A lot of people I know are having babies nowadays. I suppose it's just "that time" in our lives. One trend I've noticed, however, is that these first born babies very often look strikingly like their fathers. Somebody jokingly said it was Mother Nature's way of reassuring the husband of his paternity, but whatever the underlying reason, it certainly held true with our first born. Evelyn looks very much like her daddy, so much so that I'm always a little pleased when someone remarks how she looks like me--it's not something I hear often.

A little while ago Justin's grandma mailed me some pictures of Justin as a baby. I was really amused to see them and am really amazed at how much Evie does look like he did as a baby. Ah--I forgot to mention this bit--Justin was also born in Germany while his father was stationed here with the army in '83. And Justin's father was also born in Germany (in the same hospital as Evie actually) while his father was stationed here. Kinda neat that it worked out that way, huh? Well, some of these pictures were taken in Germany. I think Justin traveled back to the states when he was around 3 months. The captions on the back read:

3 mos. taken in Germany

5 mos.

5 mos.
5 1/2 mos.
He is doing pretty good
Raymond Lawrence Watson II (Justin's dad)
5 1/2 mos.

6 mos.

Justin 6 mos.

James 8 years

C IS for Cookie

2009-06-09T02:21:00.004-05:00

I remember thinking the world had gone too far when I heard that "they" had come out with "A Cookie is a Sometimes Food" to try and teach Cookie Monster that it's not okay to eat a diet comprising entirely of baked goods. The entire point of Cookie Monster is that his diet is wholly unrealistic and therefore an example of what not to do--isn't it obvious that you shouldn't subsist on cookies alone (however much I wish it were possible...)?

I feel a bit insulted sometimes by culture today. I think we miss out on something when the world is too sanitized--when it's not okay to find humor in our flaws and weaknesses and--gasp--even in the flaws and weaknesses of others. As I think about lessons I hope to pass along to Evelyn (for instance--self acceptance, compassion, social tact...) I also am aware that I want her to recognize that there IS such a thing as an undesirable quality. Winning is typically preferred over losing (although there are valuable lessons to be learned from being the loser). Being fit mentally and physically isn't as hard as society might have you believe and while it's good to love yourself as you are, you should also be the best you can be. You should not allow others to make you feel guilty for your success--nerds rule in the end. I'm really going stream of consciousness here and rambling more than making sense--but I think you catch my drift.

I came across this article today on Babble, Parenting Without Fear. The article is along the same lines as another article I had posted previously, The Overparenting Crisis and discusses the fact that parents fear for their children today over things that in generations past were considered safe--even wholesome. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't areas of parenting that have changed over time for the better. You can't argue the statistics that show it's safer for newborns to sleep on their backs rather than tummies to help prevent SIDS (although my mother managed to successfully raise three tummy sleepers...) or that seat belt safety should be taken seriously (we used to ride unbelted as children around the neighborhood...it was a favorite game to go all floppy and allow yourself to roll around the backseat as the car turned...) but since when did we worry that our kids are going to end up with less than 800 on their SAT verbals because in most strollers, they sit facing the street and not their mother? In the article, I discovered that the released versions of "old school" Sesame Street come with A WARNING at the beginning that labels them "for adults only." No joke.

Well, rebel that I am, I think I just may let my child watch (GASP!) Sesame Street. What kind of parent am I???

Oh, and here's a link for "adult eyes only" so you can enjoy some classic Sesame Street moments too.

Everything is tastier

2009-06-07T16:32:00.002-05:00

I just had to share my breakfast with you.

For months and months while Justin was gone, I didn't have much of an appetite, or even when I did, I didn't have the energy or time to make wholesome delicious meals. I often found myself eating protein bars, frozen dinners, cereal, mac and cheese, or something equally bland and uninspiring. Not only was it difficult to find time to make "elaborate" meals for myself, it just seemed like more trouble than it was worth to prepare something for only one.

Since he's come home, however, we're taking time to cook together and are eating healthier (and much more delicious!) things. I'm finding new recipes and trying new combinations. Life is literally more flavorful with him here.

Welcome Home Ceremony & Celebration

2009-06-05T10:23:00.002-05:00

Yesterday the post officially celebrated the homecoming of 2BCT 1AD's deployed soldiers. Free food, rides, and entertainment are organized and it's a nice end to a long year's journey. We spent the afternoon with friends enjoying food, beer (well, some of us had beer, others had cheerios or diet coke), and good company.

Evie was a trooper. She fell asleep in the stroller on the walk home, but wanted to remain part of the action when we brought the party back to our place. It was a fun day all around.

Maple Oat Nut Scones

2009-06-04T01:07:00.002-05:00

When I was in college, there was a period in which I went to Starbucks on the corner of George Street daily. Every day. I would stop by on my way to class, on my way to rehearsal, or make a special trip out, just to sit there with my coffee and study or read. I absolutely loved it--it was such an indulgence and made me feel so relaxed and happy.

My default drink was just black coffee, although if I were feeling super fancy I might get a chai latte or an caramel apple cider. I knew I was in trouble when my body had become so accustomed to the caffiene in a venti (20 oz) black coffee that I was STILL nodding off in my Wednesday afternoon class. (In my defense, I was an art history major and the majority of my classes took place in the semi dark, looking at slides...still...)

Often I was in a rush and would forgo a meal at the dining hall in favor of getting something to eat at Starbucks with my coffee. (The foolishness of living off of scones, black and white cookies, and coffee cakes shall not be discussed.) One of my FAVORITE things Starbucks offers is their Maple Oat Nut Scone. I'm just a sucker for baked goods and I love a good scone. Especially with icing. And nuts. (To illustrate my love of scones--I told Justin when I knew he was thinking of proposing marriage that if he were to acquire a scone to accompany the engagement ring, it wouldn't hurt his chances of me saying yes.)

Needless to say, over the past 3.5 years, I've been missing my Starbucks. Of course they have Starbucks in Europe, but the closest to us it several (3?) hours away and they don't carry the same kinds of baked goods as American Starbucks. So when I came across this recipe from recipezaar for a Maple Oat Nut Scone, Starbucks style, I knew I HAD to make it.

I wasn't holding out much hope that it would be as good as the real thing, but in fact I think it actually might be. I made a few alterations to the original recipe (linked above) when I made my scones--my variation on Charmie777's scones follows:

INGREDIENTS

For the scones:

1 cup oats (quick or old-fashioned)
1 1/2 cups
flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 tablespoons maple syrup (the real
kind, you know NOT in a plastic bottle)
2 1/2 tablespoons
cold butter (small pieces)
1 large egg
1/2 cup half-and-half or heavy cream (I used heavy
cream)
1/2-3/4 teaspoon maple extract (all I could find was maple
flavoring, but it worked fine)
2/3 cup (or maybe a bit more) coarsely
chopped pecans

For the maple glaze icing:

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon maple extract
(again, I used maple flavoring)
5 teaspoons maple syrup
add water to acheive desired thickness and consistency

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425°F.
Using a food processor or blender, finely grind oats.
In a mixer, mix flour, oats, sugar, salt and baking powder.
Add maple syrup and butter and mix well.
In a small bowl, beat the egg with the cream and maple extract.
Pour the egg mixture into the flour mixture and mix well.
Add pecans and mix just to incorporate.
Place dough on a floured surface. Knead and pat dough into a 8 to 10 inch
circle and cut into 6 wedges. (The original calls for 8-10 wedges, but I
like mine big--like at Starbucks!)
Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray. Place wedges on top and bake for 13
to 15 minutes, or until light brown.
Remove scones from oven to wire rack. Let cool about 3 to 5
minutes.
Mix glaze ingredients until smooth. Adjust the amount of water to get to the
desired consistency. I like the glaze to be rather thick. Spread lots of glaze
over each scone and dry about 15 minutes before serving.

They came out so close to the real thing, I was amazed! If you're a scone fan, you must give these a try!

Granny Progress

2009-06-01T02:23:00.003-05:00

The granny afghan continues to grow. I have 10 rows x 11 rows now, making for 110 little squares. I think when I finish this project it would be wise to do another pattern (maybe a ripple!), but this one is so addicting--it's just like popping popcorn. One more. Just one more. Okay, one more. They make up so quickly and it's so fun deciding which color to add on next. I think I have one instance where there are two squares using the exact same color combination, but I think all the others are unique variations.

I haven't yet decided how big I'm going to make this one. I love blankets and I always seem to make them HUGE. Shouldn't blankets be big enough so that they can cover two cuddling?

Unorthodox, yet effective.

2009-05-31T14:34:00.002-05:00

There are certainly stylistic differences in our child care techniques we've discovered over the last week, as illustrated by this short video clip...

Also, though completely unrelated, Evelyn was STANDING in her crib this morning when I went to get her out of bed! STANDING!!!!

Our girl

2009-05-30T02:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday marks a week that Justin's been home. I know you will forgive me for being "away" online--we had too much to enjoy here to do much more than the occasional e-mail check and to post a few pictures. On Wednesday we went down to welcome home another group of soldiers--this time specifically to be with Julia as she waited to welcome home her husband Kellen. I took pictures for Julia and so Justin held Evelyn throughout the ceremony while I handled the camera. It was so sweet to see them together. I just can't get over it.

Justin and I had discussed and wondered about how the reintegration of our family might go...we figured there would be some difficultly reintroducing him to Evelyn and prepared ourselves as best as we could for the reality that she would not know her father. Still, the first afternoon he was here, I must tell you, it hit me hard when she burst into tears at his touch when he reached out to steady her as she stood. It broke both of our hearts and the unfairness of the whole situation--that hundreds of military families have gone through and are going through the same thing washed over me like a crashing wave. That was a hard moment to swallow, despite the fact that we knew it would be the case and had attempted to prepare ourselves mentally for it. We took a deep breath, held each other's hands, comforted Evelyn, and kept playing.

Now here's the really surprising and amazing part--after that first afternoon, she has not cried AT him, or because of him ONCE. She has adjusted to him better than I could have imagined. She looks for him after waking for a nap, she crawls to him, and she's even babbling "dada"--sort of at him...It fills me with such joy, I can hardly convey it to you. There are still many things she prefers me for of course, and Justin hasn't felt confident enough yet to tackle bath time, but I am amazed by how normal it all feels so soon after having him home.

Well, I say that, but really it's always been that way. He comes home, and it's as if he was never away. I love him so, and from the look in Evelyn's eyes when she gazes at him, it's clear she feels the same way.

A little of this

2009-05-25T14:16:00.005-05:00

Things we're doing:

Going to the (crappy) commissary TOGETHER.
Making REAL meals again--eggs for breakfast! ham, pepperjack, and mushroom crepes for dinner! grilled veggies! (I've more or less been "living" on frozen meals, cereal, canned soup and mac and cheese)
Working out while Evelyn is AWAKE because someone else is here to play with her!
Playing with our daughter TOGETHER.
Talking IN PERSON.
Sitting quietly TOGETHER.
Holding hands.
Planning what's next TOGETHER.

Things are so good.

He's back!

2009-05-22T14:22:00.003-05:00

Justin is HOME! The welcome home ceremony was around midday and Julia went with me (and Evelyn of course) to greet him.

Evelyn handled the noise and excitement of the ceremony well, but she was a little unsure of what to make of Justin. Her reception of him could have been much worse, however, and they're already beginning to acclimate to one another.

Choky literally peed herself upon seeing Justin again. I think she may have thought he was a ghost, or maybe just that she'd done something so bad that I'd called him back from wherever he'd been to discipline her.

More to come later...

No. Freaking. Joke.

2009-05-20T16:17:00.001-05:00

Ten months old today!!!

2009-05-15T16:21:00.003-05:00

Look! I even got the pictures up with the letter!!!

Dear E,
This month I totally did remember to take notes along the way of all of the amazing strides you started making, but now…I can’t remember what I did with the paper. It’s around here somewhere…but I get the feeling the things listed there would be out of date already—that even though they happened and were new at the beginning of this month, they would already feel like a lifetime ago. Just in the past few weeks you’ve had some incredible new developments. I can’t believe you’re 10 months old. That’s two digits. Ten seems so much older than nine. You’re so close to a year old now, it’s ridiculous, and I find myself stunned at the prospect of being the mother of a one year old. When did this happen?

Evelyn, this month you grew not one, but TWO teeth. The first one was the right of the bottom center two, and now the left fella is coming in. They are adorable. I never knew teeth could be so cute. Somehow this month your overall cuteness has been almost overwhelming, and even more than ever before I can’t seem to resist the urge to nibble on your feet and kiss your little nose and every other inch of you. It is borderline obscene how cute you are. Oh, and I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in a while, but you have gorgeous eyes. Seriously. They are sometimes grey, sometimes hazel, and sometimes look more green. Whatever color they are, they are framed by thick gorgeous lashes and are alight with curiosity and observation.

Food has become an issue for us in that this month you became sort of, orange. Actually, I think you’ve been gradually becoming orange for a while now, but this month it got to the point where I felt I needed to check and make sure you’re alright. (On the day we returned from the clinic one of the neighbors asked if you’d been “baby tanning.” I’m not sure that she was joking.) The conclusion seems to be that you have too much carotene in your diet, and although it’s a perfectly harmless condition that will fade with time, it definitely was a concern that loomed over a great portion of this month. You continue to really enjoy mealtimes, though, especially finger foods and feeding yourself. In one of those aforementioned moments of overwhelming cuteness, you very clearly wanted to share and thus fed me a Cheerio. Swoon. What a sweet girl you are. Hardly a meal goes by now that you don’t want to share something with me, and of course, you love sharing with Chokydar too.

You’ve begun to attempt conversation with me as well. A favorite game is tongue clicking back and forth. You click. I click. You click again. The possibilities are endless! You really enjoy animal sounds, especially the hissing of a snake and a sheep’s “baa.” Your sense of humor is starting to emerge in earnest too. Certain expressions and noises I can count on to leave you in stitches. Sometimes I’m not sure what you’re laughing at, but it makes me laugh all the same, which you find very funny in turn, and we just feed off each other infectiously.

Some of the most exciting stuff (motor skills wise) has begun to happen just in the last week. The first event was when you managed to pull yourself up on the ottoman. I was so proud of you and was nearly moved to tears by the look of pure joy and accomplishment radiating from your face. The next day, catching the wave of your momentum, you not only pulled up on the ottoman, but cruised around the perimeter—yes, that’s right—you made your way from point A to B WHILE STANDING. You were as wobbly as a new born colt and giggled with glee the whole way. A few days later your moonwalk crawl transformed before my eyes into a full out, belly off the floor crawl, not only backwards, but forwards too! This leaves me scrambling because I’ve been putting off a serious baby-proofing outside of your usual play area and “mop” has been bumped to the top of my to-do list.

In a matter of DAYS/weeks now, Evelyn, your daddy will be coming home to live with us again! As much as I’ve talked to you about this, I am prepared for it to come as something of a shock and surprise to have someone new sharing in our day to day lives. I can only tell you HOW ECSTATIC I am to have your father home after SO LONG and how much he loves you. We are so excited at the prospect of being under the same roof again and I know that he is nervously and excitedly anticipating getting to know you in person. He has fallen deeper and deeper in love with you from a distance, and I’m delirious with joy to get to watch you and he learn all about one another.

I love you always and always,

Mommy

And here's one more video of the crawling! Very similar to the other I posted, except I really love Choky just quietly observing from the background. Believe me, it is taking every ounce of her willpower to not try and play with Evie's feet as she crawls.

Things are happening this week

2009-05-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

March 2008- Normandy

2009-05-08T16:43:00.003-05:00

I know--it's May not March. I'm behind. I never got up my past travel pics from March or April. I'm trying to play catch up, because some of these are really lovely pictures and I want to revist them myself and also share them with you.

Last year--wow, it seems crazy that it was last year; it seems a lifetime ago--before the guys deployed we went on a trip to Normandy with our very good friends the Blythes. Justin and I had been to Normandy with my parents the previous October, but on that trip we traveled more widely in the area and thus did not spend as much time focusing on the WWII aspects of the region. I am so glad we got to take two trips there. I would definitely go again. I love France and that region is so full of history and beauty.

The morning we left for the trip last year, we were hit with a snow storm. We sat in traffic trying to get to the autobahn for a good while. Cars were stuck in the snow trying to get up hill and traffic was seriously backed up. Thankfully, once we got to the autobahn things cleared up considerably, and we didn't have to deal with snow again until we made our way back into Baumholder on the return end.

I was pregnant during this trip (6 months along or so) and thus I just looked enviously as the guys raved about a local rose wine at a restaurant we stumbled upon, Le Crabe Vert. We bought a bottle actually, now that I'm remembering...I think we'll have to break that out to celebrate their return in the coming weeks!

The Blythes are adorable. We love them.

Le Crabe Vert was actually SO good (they had all kinds of AMAZING specialty pizzas) that we visited it two nights we were in the area. It was that good.

It stood out in stark contrast to another restaurant we stumbled upon one afternoon when we were taking a break from a long stretch of driving and were all starving. I was the "French speaker" of the group. I took two years of French in highschool and one brush up semester in college, but that's all starting to be very long ago now, and while I can get by, we've had some funny experiences that definitely prove I am no where near fluent. (I don't think I've told the story on here about accidentally ordering 6 orders of escargot at 12 euros a plate...) The escargot story and this experience, forever remembered as The Cold Duck Pate place are two of the funniest (and most costly) errors. This restaurant, as you can see from the linens and decor, was nicer than just a pop in lunch place and should have tipped us off that we might not be in for a bargain. Most restaurants in Europe have a "fixed price" menu, where, for a flat rate you get to choose an appetizer, main course, and usually a desert. This restaurant had the option, but no prices were listed on the menu, and we got nervous that we'd be way out of our price range to go that route. Plus, many of the choices listed were beyond my limited vocabulary. I don't like seafood, and typically recognize and stick to chicken, rabbit, or duck from French restaurants.

After much diliberation, we--did we all?--I think maybe just Julia and I--I can't remember...well, we got duck something or other with pears in a sauce. If I remember correctly it was 17 euro, and thus we assumed it was a main course. Wrong. It was an appetizer. They brought out the plates with this cold miniscule lump of duck pate stuck artistically on top of a pear soaked in liquor and drizzled with sauce. As you can see, we were less than thrilled:

We went back to the car afterwards and dove into a box of Cheese-Its.

Gulp

2009-05-08T16:23:00.001-05:00

Who knew I was this funny...

Thanks, but no thanks

2009-05-07T15:35:00.003-05:00

Oh those crazy Germans...

Okay, to follow up on last post; I took Evelyn in to the clinic yesterday to try and have her seen by a nurse. We were able to be seen, but the nurse wasn't much help. She basically wasn't willing to say that Evie didn't have jaundice (she said it didn't look like it to her)--she said we should be seen by a doctor. Sigh. She recommended that we go up to the patient liason office and go to the krankenhaus (German hospital) here in Baumholder. So we went.

I could make this a waaaay longer story than it needs to be, but I'll try to keep it relatively short. Just to give you a sense of the experience though, as I was in the moment I couldn't help but think to myself that I was experiencing a sensation I hadn't since I was a VERY small child--the sense of being herded around having people talk over you and not fully understanding what's going on. It wasn't a pleasant feeling at all, especially because I was trying to make an informed decision about the health of our child. Anyway, here's what happened:

The doctor looked like a cross between a German Colonel Sanders and the actor Michael York. He was dressed in snugly fitted white clothes from head to foot, including his shoes and belt; even hair was white. His English was certainly better than my German, but that's not saying much. He was VERY difficult to understand, and gave short, sharp directions like, "take her clothes off!" He had like, negative bedside manner. Evie was being brave, but he wasn't doing anything to try and keep her calm. When at one point she began to look as if she might cry, he shoved a woven basket full of candy at her. I'm talking little plastic packages (choking hazard) of sugar coated (!!!!) root beer flavored gummy candy (CHOKING HAZARD) at my nine month old infant. And I'm supposed to take his medical opinion seriously? He was losing points quickly. Evie stared at him teary eyed as if to say, "Dude, don't you know I'm a BABY? I don't eat candy..."

He asked me, "What's wrong with her?"
"Ummm, nothing really is wrong. She's just, kind of, orange. I wanted to make sure it's not jaundice and that everything's okay."
He looked at her, poked and podded a bit and said, "It's not jaundice."
Then he followed with, (I'm translating here, because his english was not this clear) "We will do blood work and ultrasound."

What?

She doesn't have jaundice, so you're going to do bloodwork and an ultrasound...I was seriously confused and thought I must have misunderstood him. I tried to clarify, but all I could get out of him was that he thought she needed extra testing. I couldn't understand why, but I'm not a doctor, and it's a bit daunting to decline when a doctor tells you you should have a test run on your child. I was NOT pleased that Evie would have to be put through extra stress, but we wandered up stairs to have the blood work done.

Did I say I was going to try and keep this brief? Ooops...

Neither the blood work lady or the ultrasound technician spoke english. At all. The lady babbled on and ON in German to Evelyn, obviously smitten with her, and Evie didn't seem to mind. I have to say, it kind of creeped me out though; she was a bit scary. The ultrasound guy understood me when I said "orange." I'm not sure he fully understood why we were getting an ultrasound either. He showed me her stomach, her kidneys, her liver--all were present and accounted for, and looked normal (surprise, surprise...). But wait! Where's her gallbladder? Hmmmm

He couldn't find it. DoctorColonelMichaelYorkSanderstein was called in to try and find it. Why are we even looking for her gallbladder??? The doctor found it, but exclaimed that it was contracted because she had a full tummy. (She hadn't eaten in about 4 hours.) He tells me, "Come back tomorrow at 9 in the morning. Don't feed her." Oh, and at this point he also says, "Do you feed her....(he turns to try and find the word from his non-english speaking assistant)...carrots?"

"Yes," I replied, "That's what I sort of thought it was from the beginning..."

"Stop feeding her carrots. Don't do that anymore."

...

He was already walking out of the room when I protested the summons to come back the next day. "She wakes between 5 and 7 and is HUNGRY. Why does she need to be seen again? What is the problem? Can we be seen earlier if it's necessary?"

"No, we don't come in until 9. Don't feed her." He leaves.

I was totally frustrated, confused, and at a loss. Why was I even doing all of this? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH EVELYN, except that she sort of looks like she's eaten too many Oompa Loompas.

I called the patient liason office when we got home and tried to explain my frustration and ask for help. They said they'd call over and see what the doctor was concerned about and if it was necessary for me to go in again.

They called back to tell me he'd already gone home. They said he's probably just checking to make sure she doesn't have any other problems and that it should be alright to let her eat a little when she first wakes up before we go in. Sigh. In the back of my head I KNEW that it was just SILLY to go in again, but he'd made it seem so important to see her gallbladder, I couldn't help but have this fear--what if there IS something wrong with her gallbladder and I don't have her checked and something happens to her? So we went this morning and had a SECOND ultrasound.

When I first saw the doc this morning he looks at me as if he'd never seen us before and asked, "So what's wrong with her?"

I stared at him for a minute, like, "you're kidding, right?"

"Ummmmm....Nothing's wrong with her...she's orange. You said to come back so you could check her gallbladder..."

"Of course nothing's wrong with her. Of course I remember. Take off her clothes."

He poked her some more and said, "It's just orange here in her face."

"Ummmm..." I said, "I see it all over, really."

"Yes of course."

?!?!?!?!

(Have I mentioned lately how much I can't wait to get back to America?)

Ok, now this officially isn't just not brief, it's probably much longer than most regular posts...

So during 9 month old infant's SECOND ultrasound, he finds her gallbladder, and SURPRISE! it's totally normal. He sees her stomach full of liquid on the monitor and says, "You fed her."

"You caught me," I said, loathing him.

"She has a full bladder. Let's do a urine test."

WHAT?!?!?!!?!?! WHY?

"Why?"

"To check."

"Wait, do you think anything is wrong with her or are you just doing this because you think I want you to? If it's not jaundice and everything looks okay, I'm fine. She acts normally. She's happy and healthy. She's just orange. Her urine looks normal. Her poop is normal. Why do you need to get a urine sample?"

"Come to my office. To check." He walked out of the room.

I dressed Evelyn and told her we were leaving. I poked my head in the room and told him, "You know, I think we're just going to go. I don't think she needs a urine test." (How do you get a 9 month old girl to pee in a cup anyway?? It's hard enough when I have to do it...) He looked at me all concerned and confused with the little platic cup in his hand and was like, "But the urine test!"

"Yeah, I feel comfortable that she's okay. Thanks, though."

"Why don't you take it with you. Take it with you and when you get the chance, have her go in it and then you can bring it back."

I am not even kidding you.

I nearly refused, but I thought it would just be simpler to take the cup and go. Plus, I thought, I can take a picture of the urine sample cup we're NOT going to pee in and post it on tomatobear.

So, Evelyn is apparently fine. Just a little orange.

We're having a bad day today

2009-05-05T07:02:00.004-05:00

When things are going bad, I have the tendency to want them to stay that way. "What?!?" you ask, "Michele, that makes no sense! Don't you want things to get better?" The real answer is, of course I do. The answer when I'm in the depths of my pity party (You're not invited, thanks, it's a party for one. I like feeling alone. And miserable. Go away, I have no friends.) is No. Life sucks. And then you die. The world is out to get me. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms.

Today just started off on the wrong foot. I was up really late last night finishing my homework for class--I'd put it off until the last minute and HAD to get it done last night. Evelyn was cranky when she woke up. She didn't want to take her nap this morning. I somehow feel a little dizzy and keep bumping into things today. I've hit my head twice already. Ouch. I haven't showered in a day. (I should be showering now, but it feels better when you're miserable to be dirty too. Don't want to do anything that might accidentally make me feel better.) The weather is super crappy and cold. We went out to run errands and of course no one was friendly. I felt fat and dirty and blech. We came home and I called the Nurse's hotline--I've been meaning to for a week now; Evie has a bit of an orangey tint to her skin that comes and goes. I don't think it's jaundice; her eyes are perfectly white and she doesn't have the other symptoms listed online for jaundice. I think it's much more likely that it's something like carotenemia but I want to make sure of course that she's okay and I'm not brushing off something serious.

Well, the nurse on the hotline said I should have her seen within 3 days. Now I feel kinda guilty because I've noticed this orangey-ness for a while now and haven't been compelled to spring into action on it. It seems to come and go and she acts normal and healthy. But I called in to get an appointment, and of course, they don't have any appointments. My options are 1)the emergency room 2)call non-stop and be on hold for the next 5 hours of my life to see if they have an opening that becomes available. I freaked out on the woman on the phone, pushed to the point of tears as Evelyn spat apricots at me and I stared blankly out the window at the gray. She gave me the number for the nurses line here in Baumholder; the other line was apparently stateside.

On top of it all, I can't help but have these huge nagging paranoid doubts about my ability to be a human being, let alone a mother. I haven't been eating that well--nothing sounds good, and I worry that Evelyn's diet isn't up to snuff or that maybe my breastmilk isn't giving her all of what she needs. I'm afraid that my lifelong food issues are going to be passed on to her.

I know it isn't as bleak as it feels right now. Thankfully, Evie has settled down for a nap, and will most likely be in a better mood when she wakes. I probably just need some more sleep myself and to go take a shower (and workout--which I haven't done in over a week!).

On a completely unrelated note, here are some pictures of Evelyn being adorable with my growing afghan:

A new nickname

2009-05-03T09:10:00.002-05:00

Squeaky One Tooth.

That's right, she's FINALLY got one peeking through! Surprisingly, she seems pretty oblivious to the whole process; she hasn't been any more cranky than usual.

Whew. This week has flown by; so much has happened, and so much went undone. I don't think I worked out a single time this week. We were running around the house trying to prepare for a yard sale yesterday, I got another haircut, we had an unexpected adventure wandering around Ramstein-Misenbach and I've been absorbed in crafting.

I've got lots of pictures I'm behind on posting, and lots more I've been meaning to take, including the progress I've made on my granny afghan. Remember how I said that the pattern wasn't what I hoped it would be, but that I'd carry on so it wasn't a wasted effort? Yeah, well, I was forgetting that I'm a perfectionist. I'm in the process of demolishing the old squares--I think I had at least 48 done--and remaking them into a new design that is much closer to the one I'd seen. I have 25 of the new ones done. I'll take pictures and post that progress soon too, hopefully.

In the meantime, enjoy these random pictures from around here lately:

Virtually connecting

2009-04-28T16:17:00.003-05:00

One of the blogs I frequent is Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and I just had to share the latest post, an interview with Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Martha Stewart's Real Simple.

I totally identify with so much of what van Ogtrop says, it's kind of uncanny. From "obsessing over stupid, control-freak things" to Starbucks coffee and not being a night person--that's all me. I could go on and on about the Happiness Project and the specifics of how I've really enjoyed perusing all of what Rubin has to share--I've been meaning to for a while now--but instead, I just wanted to focus on how amazed I am at the internet and the opportunities it's created for me to "connect" with like minded people.

I'm slightly hesitant of all of this, because of the "it's not real" factor, except for the fact that I feel in many ways, it's more real than what I experience in my day to day interactions with "real live" people. The people I have encountered on the internet, via my online class, through blogs, through commentors from Illustration Friday or flickr--they have opened themselves and shared part of who they are in a very real and generous and beautiful way. This, I think, has been especially meaningful to me, isolated in a foreign country, surrounded by people--many of whom I'm not so fond of--that, for the most part, do not share in my interests, and living for the past year with an infant and dog (although very intelligent ones, on both counts). The chance to reach out and connect with people online has been really, really great.

So thank you, to all of you who come here to share in this with me. Thank you for reaching out, for commenting, for inspiring me and encouraging me. It really means a lot. :)

Domestically challenged

2009-04-26T08:08:00.004-05:00

My poor, poor sweater. What a fool I am. Of course, the tag does say 'hang dry', but what do tags know? The zipper caught the shoulder seam and mangled my poor sweater to death. I really loved this sweater too...I went back to check if American Eagle was still selling them, but alas, no.

Granny Progress Report

2009-04-24T02:56:00.005-05:00

It's been a long time since I first posted about my granny square afghan ambition. I have made a good bit of progress as you can see:

I have to say, though, I'm slightly bummed...I came across a posting today on a blog called Smosch and as you can see, her afghan much more closely resembles the one that first started me down this path...

This was the one I first saw:

The good news is, I never feel as though a project is wasted. It's not that I don't like mine so far, it's just not as close to the pattern as I'd hoped. I struggled trying to figure out how the scallops around the edges were made, experimenting with shells and other stitches until I settled on what I have now. Still, I've gotten a lot of practice with this one, and I can make another attempt when I'm finished. I saw some progress photos from Smosch that I think will give me a better chance at achieving a closer pattern:

I can see now that hers are really three rows of color in a circle and then the cream edging is what completes the square. I think the slight rippled effect comes naturally from the shells...we'll see if I'm able to get it closer next time.

I keep you posted on how my first attempt turns out and maybe post the pattern that I made up if any one is interested.

Oh, and Evie is fascinated by the little squares for sure. This video is pretty much the same thing for 2 minutes, so if you get the jist you can call it quits early. Personally, I could just watch her grunt at them all day. It's like she has some sort of secret sorting process going on there, or that she's looking for a particular one or testing for defects or something...

Puli Conversations

2009-04-23T03:21:00.003-05:00

Chokydar: Hey. Evie's asleep. Did you know that?
Me: Yep.
C: Are you sure she's asleep though?
Me: What do you mean?
C: I don't know...she's awfully quiet and still...
Me: Chokday, that's what you look like when you're asleep. She's fine.
C:...Okay....

[she shakes her collar loudly *JINGLEJINGLEJINGLE*...Evie stirs]

Me: What did you do that for??
C: Just checking!

[she lies down]

...................................................

C: YAWN!!!!!!!!!!
Me: You're being loud again.
C: Sorry. [SNEEZE!!!!...Evie stirs again, grunting a little]
Me: *sigh*

...................................................

C: No, but really...are you sure she's okay? She's been 'sleeping' for a while now.
Me: YES, Chokydar, she's FINE!
C: Okay.... [she stretches, moving first to the hard wood floor where she reaches out and clicks her nails loudly as she stretches]
Me: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
C: What?? [with mock innocence]

..................................................

[Choky starts walking toward the swing, slowly, looking over her shoulder at me as she goes]
Me: DO NOT GO OVER THERE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THE SWING AND WAKE HER UP BY LICKING HER FEET.
C: That wasn't what I was going to do...[she turns around]

..................................................

C: [looking desperate, feverish]..............WOOF!
Me: [turning clowly to stare at her angrily with a cocked head]
Evie: [eyes wide] *gasp*
Chokydar: Ah! Okay, you're right. She was just asleep.
[she turns and promptly throws herself sideways on the floor, closing her eyes as I go to pick up Evelyn]

Next time I'll just use perfume...

2009-04-22T08:40:00.002-05:00

So, funny story; true story--

Whew, I thought to myself, as a plopped down in my chair.

We'd just gotten back from the day's errands--checking the mail and going to the Arts and Crafts Center. It was a beautiful day out today; the sun is (mostly) shining and the temperature slightly on the cool side of perfect. As we were driving to the crafts center I couldn't help but be overcome with joy. The first of many 'welcome home' signs have begun to pop up outside the post gates and the reality of it all filled me with glee. The breeze carried blossoms from nearby trees across our path, swirling in the wind in their own sort of celebratory dance.

Evie did really well at the store, even though it took me a few minutes to get everything necessary for my newest project. We headed back by way of the mailroom where I found a new pair of shoes waiting for me. Huzzah!

Evelyn had been yawning in the car and rubbing her eyes--we all know what that means, and as we came inside I found myself holding my breath to see if she would be agreeable to taking a nap in the swing. Lately she's been hurling anything I give her (intended to distract and calm her) off the edge in disgust. As I lowered her into the swing, her hand shot out and she grabbed onto the upper part of the swing arm. Both of my hands were full holding her and we both laughed hysterically as I tried to shake her loose so she could be lowered the rest of the way. The girl's got a grip.

She settled reasonably well, and so I headed for the kitchen to grab a snack. I pulled out one of those bottled frappuccinos you can buy from the grocery store and shook it up vigorously, then popped the lid and set it on my desk. Oops! I'd forgotten to shut the living room door. If it stays open, Chokydar will bark at noises from the street and destroy any chance of a nap.

Whew, I thought to myself, as a plopped down in my chair. I reached out for my drink and gave it another hardy shake for good measure...

Yeah, did you catch that part where I'd already opened the bottle??? I had just set the open cap back on top of the bottle, booby trapping myself who couldn't remember a mere 15 seconds later that I'd already opened it. I stood for maybe 10 seconds, covered from head to foot in vanilla frappuccino, dripping on the carpet in total shock.

I cleaned everything up as best I could--nothing got really damaged and I got a good laugh.

I know later I'm going to wonder why Chokydar is obsessively licking that section of the carpet.