a girl, a guy, a tomato, a bean, and a bear

Monday, August 3, 2009

Never good enough

I came across this article on Unclutterer, You don't have to be the best and wanted to link to it. I know for me, I often feel very alone in my flaws and shortcomings. It's easy to look around at others and be completely frustrated and demoralized by people that "do everything" or seem to navigate life effortlessly. The funny thing is, though, I think most people feel the same way I do--struggling to balance competing aspects of life, attempting to keep up appearances for others' sake as well as for our own.

As a child I was exceptionally blessed in most of my endeavors. I succeeded maybe more often than was good for me, and somewhere along the way, I began to fear failure and rejection in a way that became a bit paralyzing. It's a problem I have with my art--I don't want to sketch, I was to produce a masterpiece on the first attempt. I am so frustrated by my (completely natural) inability to produce perfection on the first try, I have difficulty putting pencil to paper (or stylus to tablet, as sometimes the case may be), I'm still working on this, and I'm always amused and relieved to hear of this problem being shared by others. Just who exactly are we trying to prove ourselves to?

I'm reminded of this as we prepare to make the move to a new place as well. I think very often people share social anxieties that feed off of one another. You meet a new person--they're a little nervous to meet you, you're really nervous to meet them. If you're both waiting for the other person to take the first step, you both walk away feeling that the other person is cold or unfriendly, when really, you may have just both been hoping the other person would do the honor of breaking the ice.

Anyway, it's something I've been thinking on lately--embracing myself, flaws and all, and being proud of my strengths as well (I sometimes have the tendency to diminish them to the point of degrading myself). It's a bit fun to get to try and renew yourself with a fresh group of people. You have another chance at making a first impression, and just maybe you can manage to improve, without worrying about being the best.


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